Posted by Ran Isner

Here we are, the final post of the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge and the emotions are bittersweet. On the one hand, I am sad that it’s come to an end because I have put so much into it. On the other hand, I am happy because I know that my journey doesn’t end here.

I have been reflecting on this 16 week journey for the past couple of days and I cannot believe how much was accomplished during the time. I have created a healthy routine, I have held myself accountable to you and I have let go of things that have not been serving me and I was not open enough to acknowledge.

The most important one and the one that was affecting me the most was the overwhelming sense of guilt I’ve been living in for over a decade now. I have not allowed myself to be who I really was because I was feeling guilty about leaving my home in Israel and creating a new home here in the US. Guilt has almost broken up my marriage because I  refused to see that my actions were not serving the best interest of my family, meaning my wife and children, even though they are the world to me and I cannot imagine my life without them in it.

Owning up to me guilt has been instrumental in my transformation because it go me to reconnect with ME again and my soul so desperately needed that. It has deepened my connection with my wife because now I can truly express myself without any judgement and guilt. I am able to be present with my children and enjoy the moments we get to spend together. For the longest time I was so unhappy with who I have become and I felt that there was no hope.

Working on myself and understanding the events that have shaped my life have allowed me to be open to experience new things. Peta Kelly’s “The New Way Live” event in May is what inspired the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge because it spoke about being the first one to do something so you can inspire others to do the same. The theme was about finding your jeaniius, the one thing that you can do so well that it is your moral obligation to share it with the world. I know now that I was put on this earth to change lives, to encourage people to find their own jeaniius and make a difference in this world. I gave myself the permission to operate from the space of love because I know n my bones that it emirates from me so brightly and that people deserve to know that they are loved and that they have permission to love, themselves and others. I call meek The Love Warrior because  love is the one thing worth fighting for.

I express gratitude every day and am thankful that I am where I am and that I am doing what aligns with my soul and that I am practicing to approach every thing I do with love.

I would like to thank you all for being a part of this journey and for holding me accountable to be the most honest, real me that I can be and for being my sounding board for my breakdowns and breakthroughs. This might mark the end of this challenge but it is most certainly not the end of this journey, it is merely the beginning. Life is lived in the present moment so it can never truly be the end.

Results:

Weight: 151.0( -5.5 since last week, -5.6 since start)

Cleanse days: 16 total for the challenge

Workouts: 42 ( 6 short of goal)

Books I have read:

  1. Love Louder by Preston Smiles
  2. The War Of Art by Steven Pressfield
  3. The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks
  4. 50 Ways To Yay by Alexi Panos

What I would like to be acknowledged for this challenge:

I would like to be acknowledged for finally loving myself enough so I could find the Ran that has been absent all these years. The Ran that dimmed his light so much that he was depriving the world of his true gift and his true sense of purpose. I would like to be acknowledged for focusing on the process and not the result.

I am a stand for all of you to find or re-discover what it is that ignites your soul and a stand for love and the notion that we all make an impact in other people’s lives. How are you going to light yourself on fire?

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Down To The Wire

August 31, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

It is almost 10:30 at night and I am sitting down to write this blog entry. To be honest with you, if my wife hadn’t said that she still needs to write her blog entry I wouldn’t have remembered to write mine. I have been doing this for 13 weeks now so how could I have almost forgotten to do this today?

For the past two weeks I have been holding myself back, textbook upper limit shit. I am breaking through on so many levels and I still get my shit organized. On top of all of that I am the procrastination king! I completely didn’t do any of my assignments for my nutritional cleansing business team calls because i waited till the last minute and then there was no time left. Now, I’m not going to give you the excuse of “I just didn’t have time” because that is not true! There is always time, it’s a matter of prioritizing. In order for me to move forward I require prioritizing the things that will propel me forward, not the ones that will hold me back. I Still haven’t scheduled my days in a way that I can actually accomplish my goals for the day, the week, the month and the year. Yes! I require to be that specific if I am to go to the next level. Will the world end if I don’t accomplish these things? No it won’t, but I will also stay exactly where I am and that’s unacceptable to me at this stage in my life.

This is the most action I have taken in a ridiculously long time and it feels so good! I am in a space where I can acknowledge that. However, I am also in a place where anything less than that is no longer workable. I know for a fact that I was put on this earth to change people’s lives. I was put here to show them that they could live a life by their own design if they choose to do so. It is through the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge that I discovered that. Now, I require the skills involved in taking on this kind of leadership and the first step is organization. Leaving things for the last minute is exhausting! The guilt,self deprecation and anxiety involved fucking suck! There is no room for those emotions in my life anymore! I am so done with this!

I am extremely proud of myself for the progress I’ve made and I am also aware of where my opportunities to grow are. We are always growing and evolving and that is a beautiful thing. Life is a beautiful dance, sometimes you lead it and other times it leads you because after all, we are only human, right?

As I am writing these words, I am becoming present to what I am grateful for today. I am grateful for having this forum where I get to share my thoughts and insights. I am grateful for you for taking the time to read it and hopefully resonating with some of it. I am  most grateful for my family as they are my greatest source of inspiration.

No more of this down to the wire shit!

 

 

Pledge Of Allegiance

August 24, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

A little over 11 years ago I moved to the US to study acting. After my freshmen year I met my wife and 4 years later we got married. All my life people told me that I should live in America because I know everything there is to know about American pop culture that i might as well be American.

One never knows where life will take them and my life happened to bring me here. I believe wholeheartedly that I was meant to come here so I could meet my amazing wife. I was meant to be on this journey that brought me here and has me writing these words. With her I feel that I am right where I need to be, and we have two beautiful children which further affirms my belief.

Not too long ago I started my naturalization process and by the end of this process I will be an American citizen. I like to keep myself up to date on what happens in this country and basically be well informed. The way I see it is, if I live here I might as well have a say in where this country is headed.

This decision was not a difficult one to make. My life is here, my family is here and this is where I want to be. I’m not saying I don’t miss Israel, I do, and I think that I sometimes block those emotions from coming out because I feel guilty. I feel that I haven’t been in touch with my Israeli self and that includes introducing Israel and it’s customs to my children. I have wanted to assimilate so much to make it easy on myself that I have been neglecting my roots. As I am writing these words I am getting very emotional because I don;t want to feel that guilt anymore. The fact that I am becoming an Amrican doesn’t mean that I must forget where I came from.

Today I went to the USCIS processing center for my biometrics. That means that They took my fingerprints, a photo and my signature for record keeping. I realized that that’s the signature is going to be on my passport eventually! It wasn’t after I left there that I really understood the magnitude of it all. At the naturalization ceremony, you pledge to renounce your allegiance to any other country and as I was reading those words I felt a pinch. At that moment, when I let it sink in, it felt like I had given something up right then and there. Fun fact! Israel is one of the only countries that the US allows it’s citizens keep their citizenship thus becoming a dual citizen.

I am very grateful to be in the position I’m in and I am not taking it for granted. I know that I have exhibited some upper limit symptoms this week because I have been off my routine and have been allowing myself to take my eyes off the prize. This is a great thing that’s happening yet my mind and my ego are so afraid of change that they convince me that I shouldn’t be this happy.

Another thing I am grateful for? This blog. This medium a gives me the opportunity to let things out. It allows me to be present, raw and real and be who I really am. No masks, not stories, only truth.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it.

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