Before, not an easy one to post


They say the average American gains between 8-10lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years, and guess what, I DID.  Ugh.  This was totally not in my plan, but I have come to realize I’m not special, I am normal, and I gained the average amount of weight because I was not on top of my goals as much as I’d like to admit.

So what was great was that I enjoyed my holiday season, I ate some cheese (!), lots of bread, & lots of soppressata.  I didn’t drink much, but I did eat a whole bunch of struffala.  I didn’t feel deprived, because I wasn’t.  I did continue to work out and even switched it up by going to some yoga classes for the first time in like a year.  If I had to score myself between 1-5, I was a solid 3 for effort.

Now its 2017 and even though for the first time in my life I actually feel happy and content with my body, I know there are still more goals to achieve and more skills to master.  One thing I noticed from the Light Yourself on Fire challenge was that using my planner and bullet journal was crucial to my success, so I’m definitely going to do that again with the Crush Your Resolutions Challenge (cute name right?).

If you’re ready to crush your own resolutions around your overall health and wellness, reach out to me so I can support you!  People who take on these transformation challenges with a team achieve more results, lose more weight and have more fun doing it!

Marie’s Crush Your Resolution Challenge

January 4- April 11 (which happens to be the day I leave on vacation for Jamaica!)

  • Chronicle my journey via the Isabody Challenge
  • Complete 16 deep cleanse days
  • Complete 50 workouts
  • No dairy (except for my shakes)
  • Write 16 blog posts
  • Publish 16 weekly meal plans
  • Utilize Bullet Journal for tracking
  • Journal my gratitudes and accomplishments, and not be so hard on myself!

 

 

Citizen Isner

November 11, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

 

On October 31st I passed my citizenship test and am waiting for the swearing in letter to arrive. I must admit that I am very excited about becoming a citizen and I am really looking forward to the ceremony.

I missed voting in this election because I started the process a little late in the year and I have to blame myself for that. I dragged my feet getting the process started because I was still grappling with the idea of becoming a citizen of a country I wasn’t born in and all the guilt I felt about seemingly abandoning my Israeli identity for a new one. I realize now that it doesn’t have to be that way. I will always be an Israeli because I was born there and that’s never going to change, but I also feel such a deep connection to this country. I am raising a family here, I have created a life for myself and my family here and this country is what I call home now.

I am very much involved in the political conversation and the reason i decided to become a citizen was so I can vote in the election because I believe that since I intend to live the rest of my life here I am required to exercise the right to vote and make my voice heard. I have very strong opinions about the path this country should take and what kind of country I would want my children to live it, so even though I wasn’t going to have the opportunity to vote, I was still very much involved in the conversation and was invested in the outcome.

The past couple of days have been very emotional. I won’t lie to you, I felt like I was sucker punched. I was supposed to become a citizen in a time when love was going to win over hate and acceptance was going to win over bigotry, yet somehow the world turned upside down and certainty turned into doubt.

This was how I felt for most of the past two days. How could people be so stupid? How could we have been so wrong and how did we let them win? I felt so much hate and disdain and then I reminded myself that this is not what I stand for. I stand for love and acceptance. I stand for possibility and opportunity. I stand for each and every one on this planet having their own opinion, I may not agree with it but I will respect the person and their right to their opinion. One can’t be against hate when things are going their way and once they don’t, become a hate spewing machine, that’s hypocritical.

I can only bring about change when I become the change myself especially when hate and negativity have such low vibration in the universe. I could sit back, play the victim and complain or actually be a cute in the matter and take action. We don’t live in a bubble where everybody thinks the way we do, there are many different people with many different opinions and our opinions are not more valuable than theirs. We must learn to communicate in a way that promotes a healthy discussion rather than divisive rhetoric.

Many people dream of becoming a citizen of this great nation and I believe that we have a responsibility to be active and willing participants so that we live in a country we can be proud of and also be critical of it when we feel that it is veering of the path. We have a duty and a responsibility to future generation to hand over a country that sets them up for success where its people are able to continue a dialog of peace and acceptance.

Being sworn in and singing the Star Spangled Banner will be one of the proudest moments of my life and I will not take the responsibility of citizenship lightly.

Bless you all and bless these United States!

What a way to finish up this challenge, taking my final photos on election day as emotions and anxieties were running high.  I didn’t have the best week that I thought I would have as I ended this challenge – in fact I had a challenging week.  I succumbed to temptation, laziness, irritability and a roller coaster of emotions (and this was all before Election Day!). What can I say? I get super moody when I have PMS and the last two months have been especially hard.  Maybe it’s because I haven’t been sleeping as well.  Maybe it’s because my will power has faded.  Maybe it’s because I’ve reached a new level and I’m self-sabotaging.  Honestly, it could be all of these things or none of these things.  Some weeks you just gotta keep swimming and hope it all comes together.

It’s also really easy when things don’t go our way to give up on ourselves.  After the late night with the election results, believe me, I didn’t want to go to the gym this morning. But I knew that if I skipped it because of external factors it would set me back and I would regret it.  So I went and I got to work out and get some of the feelings out of my system in a healthy way (read: not through eating a sleeve of cookies).  No matter what the final outcome of this challenge was, I knew that the time I spend working on myself was never going to be something I would regret.  These 23 weeks were going to pass anyway, at least I made them count by staying the course and being true to myself.

I am very proud that I reached a new “lowest weight” since 2010.  I am very proud that I kept my word and wrote and blogged as much as I did.  I am very moved by all of the people who cheered me on and who took on their own “Light Yourself On Fire” challenges. I haven’t really thought about what the future of this challenge will hold for me just yet, but I do know what my goals are for the rest of the year.

Looking forward to 2017 I am excited for my new endeavor, the Parents Passion Project to light the fires under parents to reignite their passions.  Learn more here.

This begins the final week of my (extended) Light Yourself on Fire Challenge.  November 8th I have to submit the final pictures and weight for my challenge as part of the “maintenance” portion.  I’m so glad that I extended the challenge, because without that I know I would have slipped back into some bad habits.  I took a quiz online that I found (while I was looking for resources about parents and passion) that really gave me some insight about myself, I am an Obliger.

Here’s the description:

Is it easier to spend time or money on someone else instead of on yourself?

Do you sometimes think, “When someone expects something of me, I do it. But, I often have trouble meeting my expectations for myself.”

That’s because you’re an Obliger.

In order to change a habit, Obligers need external accountabilitythat’s the crucial factor for Obligers.

You can take the quiz here and find out what tendencies you have.  I found this so helpful because it gave me a vocabulary to understand why I need so much EXTERNAL ACCOUNTABLITY all the damn time.  It’s like, when no one is watching, I’ll eat a sleeve of Ritz crackers with dairy free chocolate spread, but when someone is watching (i.e. this challenge) I will happily post my weight every week online for all the world to see.  I’ve always wondered, what the F is wrong with me? Turns out, it’s just my “tendencies”. Doesn’t that sound better than me being a crazy lady?

When all is said and done, this challenge will be 23 weeks of my 2016.  That’s nearly half the year.  When I look back on it that way, I can appreciate how much I’ve accomplished and how much I committed to (and actually achieved).  Just to recognize my achievements and then to high-five myself for it is new behavior for me.  Unfortunately I spent a lot of time being so hard on myself over the past 30 years and it doesn’t really serve me anymore.  Sure, it would be easy to say, “oh after 22 weeks you SHOULD HAVE lost more weight, done more workouts, cooked more food, whatever” but does that help me at all?  I’m flipping it around this time.  “Oh after 22 weeks you HAVE done 53 workouts, 24 cleanse days, 22 blogs, numerous video blogs, GO YOU!”  Now that’s something I can take to the bank!

Week 22 Results

Weight: 183.4 **New Lowest Weight!!**  (-13.8 since start, -1.4 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 2

Workouts: 3

Non-Scale Victory:  File this under #adulting, since I’ve lost so much weight, I re-applied for life insurance and was able to get a better rating!  Which means, I will get lower rates for life insurance since I am considered healthier by their standards!  Since I applied 2 years ago I’ve lost 30lbs!!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week: Cleansing on Halloween!! I didn’t touch one piece of candy you guys, this is huge for me.  Normally I would skim a bunch of fun size items from my kids bucket, but this year I was able to enjoy Halloween without one piece of candy.  I think I may have a new tradition on my hands!

Book I am reading this week: Ugh, still working on this

Song that inspired this week’s title:  Thriller, by Michael Jackson

Bonus Material: Here’s a video of New Body Bootcamp doing Thriller choreography (with me and Dylan!).

Posted by Ran Isner 

Last night I graduated to a white-blue belt in my Kickboxing practice. As part of the graduation process I was required to write an essay and do one hour of community service.
In the essay I was asked to write about what I have gained since beginning my practice and if I have noticed a change in myself. What came out were honest words of gratitude and acceptance. 

I am grateful because this practice has allowed me to join a community that embraces everyone with no judgement, a community that supports one another and not expects something in return and a community that reminds you that it’s not about the result, but about the process. 

The professor said something that even though I’ve heard it before, it resonated with me in that moment. He said that the week after earning the belt is very important. It is important because that is when people take their foot of the gas and decide that it’s time for a break and that’s why one should push even more. 

The work doesn’t stop just because you went up a belt (insert whatever accomplishment that suits your situation) if anything it becomes more intense and every level becomes more meaningful because it means that you are taking one step closer to where you want to be. Even after you are a black belt, the work always continues because we never stop learning.

Another thing I wrote about in my essay is how much this school is in alignment with who I am and who I am striving to become. I want to surround myself with people who share the same values as I do and are committed to creating a culture of empowerment and positivity. Building people up is so much more fun than tearing them down.

I am grateful every time I get on that mat and am looking forward to the journey ahead.

The Tipping Point

October 21, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

This week has been a little rough. My UC ( Ulcerative Colitis) is acting up and I am resisting growth something fierce.

I am ready for a breakthrough in both my health and wellness business and with UC because I feel that with all of the growth I’ve had in the past couple of months, I am primed for one. My ego and mind however, they have a different idea.

They are telling me that I am not good enough, that it’s time to rest, and that this might be it for me. I keep reminding myself that this is my upper limit and that it means that I’m on the verge of something big but I’m also terrified by it. The unknown has always been a scary thing for me and even as a kid I always wanted to know what was going to happen next and when I knew, I was then able to relax.

I know now that the exciting part of not knowing what’s going to happen next is that we get to create it ourselves but I am still terrified by it. I feel that this is the tipping point for me and that it’s time for me to dive in deep. I am disheartened by this because it feels like even though I have made of all this progress, I am right back when I started. I know that it’s not true because I am no where near where I was 5 months ago! Our minds are fickle that way, aren’t they?

I am ready to feel better and keep making an impact in this world because honestly, the world needs it. I am ready to not play the victim anymore because it’s comfortable and familiar. I am choosing to embrace success instead of being scared of it. I am choosing to heal so I can be them man I was meant to be and not be ruled by a condition and I am setting the intention of healing so that I can allow myself to heal.

 

I have been dreading writing this blog entry because the old me thinks that sharing this meant that I failed but here I am writing these words and if anything says anything about my progress, this is it.

My mind and ego will always be there, trying to tell me that I am not good enough but it’s up to me to tell them to shut the fuck up and keep pushing myself so that I can change the world.

I’m learning to recieve

October 14, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

Why is it so difficult for people to receive? Whether it’s compliment or money or whatever it is. Sometimes just getting a hug seems weird to people. I am one of those people as well, I mean I never refuse a hug because I’m a hugger but I do have trouble receiving.

I think that we underestimate the impact that receiving something has on us as human beings because we are so quick to dismiss the very thing that people want to give us. How many times have you downplayed a compliment by tearing yourself down? How many times have you refused a money offering, big or small saying “it’s not necessary”? 

I am slowly learning that receiving does not make me pompous or greedy, it simply means I bring value. We don’t think of ourselves as valuable enough and often times it holds us back from receiving or being open to new opportunities and end up attracting situations that validate the notion that we have no value.

I have learned to be grateful and graceful when being complimented and I feel the difference in the way it feels in my body. I no longer feel discomfort and this empty feeling of unworthiness, instead I feel pride and and a sense of accomplishment. A person would not offer a compliment if it isn’t genuine, that’s at least how I feel.

Having the ability to receive has brought back people into my life that I haven’t seen in decades. This past weekend I reconnected with someone who I went to elementary school with. We are friends on Facebook and have been talking about getting together for over a year and finally made it happen. He is a filmmaker who didn’t know that I was an actor because I have not allowed myself to receive that title. It doesn’t matter that it’s been years since I set foot on a theater stage, the passion for acting has never gone away and acting is part of my identity. I was finally open to receiving it and theopportunity presented itself. This person has also been following my journey and is completely inspired by it. These are the people I want to attract and now it’s possible because I am open to receive.

Allow yourself to receive, you deserve it.

Me and my elementary school buddy

Are we all Lost Stars? Trying to light up the dark? (song lyrics)

I’m a little lost this week.  I feel good! But I failed at my 2 day deep cleanse when at 6pm I caved and ate dinner.  Turns out I wasn’t the only one this week who struggled.  I opened Facebook and saw that Peta Kelly had the same problem as me!

img_4055

I admit, it made me feel better!! One thing I know is that it’s important to listen to your body, and my body was just not feeling the whole cleanse thing this week.  I walked over 15,000 steps yesterday, and ate nothing till 6pm, so girl had to eat!!  Plus, I’ve been coughing and sick for about a month (which I know sounds ridiculous, but it takes me a really long to get rid of a cough due to my allergies).  It’s really been a struggle to keep up with my workouts being sick.  I have been able to maintain going once a week at least. Kids having multiple days off from school, getting sick, and the general October-ness of life can really throw things off if you let it.  And believe me, I am trying not to let it!  It’s still struggle though.

The goods news this week is that I hit my one year anniversary of attending New Body Bootcamp.img_4056

I remember being really nervous my first few classes because I was afraid to be the “fattest girl in the class”.  I’m glad to report I don’t think like that anymore.  It’s taken a lot of self development to realize not everything is about me and my weight.  I am not defined by a number on the scale.  Having said that, I’m very happy to be 18lbs lighter than this day last year.  I’ve also lowered my body fat percentage by 4.2% and released 10 inches.  Not to mention going down a clothing size or 2 and reduced my BMI by 3pts!! Wow when you look at it that way, it’s the start of my brand new ending.

Week 19 Results

Weight: 188.6 (-8.6 since start, +3.4 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0

Workouts: 1

Non-Scale Victory:  Getting compliments from people I haven’t seen in a few months is always a highlight of my week.  My business coach Jeffery Combs even acknowledged me at an event of his on Saturday and hearing everyone clap for me was a victory for sure!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week: Continued working on my new project the #ParentsPassionProject. I’ve started to talking to some people about joining me and I’m constantly getting out of my comfort zone to spread the word. Check out my video launching the idea!

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles  (I promise to finish it this week!!)

Song that inspired this week’s title: Lost Stars, by Adam Levine from the movie Begin Again

 

#IamHumanAF

October 9, 2016

taking selfies is dressing rooms, Human

Hi! I’m Marie Ingrisano Isner and I am HumanAF.

Yeah, you read that right.

I hold (and have held) a lot of titles in my life: student, rebel, employee, wife, mother, entrepreneur, president, member, fattest girl in the room, fittest girl in the room – but they are all under the umbrella of HUMAN.

I’m not out to be the next Oprah, I’m just a mom on a mission to inspire people to their greatness.

“Just like you, my super weakness is my super power… I’m human. Human AF.” –Peta Kelly  This quote really resonated with me.

I preach practicing self-care and being kind to yourself, but some days my greatest achievement is not gagging when I see myself in the mirror.  Human.

I get up in front of groups of people and share my story very candidly, but the noise in my own head sometimes keeps me from admitting how hard I have struggled to be 183lbs (which for some is a gross weight to be, but for me, it’s an improvement).  Human.

After picture outtakes that are hard to look at


I’m that annoying patron who asks the waiter about the cheese & gluten content of every dish before ordering, but I’ll eat a sleeve of Ritz crackers laying in bed watching TV if I’ve had a rough day. Human.

I left a corporate job and started my own business from scratch 3 years ago and built it into a full time income, but I’ve been fired from a few embarrassing places like an eye glass store, a movie theatre, and a commercial building in NY. Human.

I work on my personal development every day and remind myself over and over not everything “is about me”, but if a salesperson in a store ignores me I go all Brooklyn on their ass in 10 seconds.  Human.


I get annoyed when people are too focused on their phones walking down a busy NYC street, but some days I’ll piss away an hour looking at nonsense on IMDB about Mark Ruffalo just because.  Human.

He made a hashtag out of what I said #swoon


I work so hard to “meet people where they are” and not enforce my standards on everyone I meet, but I have no tolerance for people who are checked out and asking questions that have already been answered. Human.

I wrote a cookbook and self-published it for fun, because I love home cooked meals, but some days I eat prosciutto out of the package for dinner. Human.

I’m so excited to realize my vision and launch all the new projects I’m working on and I never forget how grateful I am to have these opportunities, but some days I hear a “no” from someone or a criticism of my business and I want to cry and run back to doing make-overs at Lord and Taylor for my job.  Human.

Like I said, I’m not out to be Oprah, just a regular person who can make an impact.  I’m the female, Italian, 21st century George Bailey, if you will.

Reminding myself that I’m human, when magazines and movie stars all look air-brushed, perfect and without any stretchmarks makes me feel better, because I am HUMAN and not a 2 dimensional perfect image (and neither are they, btw).


If I hide the part of my life that’s difficult and challenging, I’m pretending to be something I’m not, which is, Human.

embrace-the-glorious-mess-that-you-are-quote-canv

So to remind yourself, in the words of Liz Gilbert, “embrace the glorious mess that you are.”  Embrace it, love it, and bless it.  It’s you, and you’re HUMAN AF.

So, hi everyone! I am Marie and I am totally and completely Human AF.

Thanks to Peta Kelly for inspiring  this post!

#IamHumanAF #LightYourselfOnFire #ParentsPassionProject

Graduation

October 9, 2016

Doesn’t it feel like graduating when you complete something you have been working very hard on? Graduating also means that now it’s time to move on and create something new.

On Oct. 26 I am graduating from white belt at Kickboxing and I am really excited. It affirms all of my hard work and commitment to bettering myself. Practicing both Jiu Jitsu and kickboxing has really been instrumental for me on the challenge and what I am most happy about is that I am still very much committed to my growth as a practitioner.

I was afraid I might give up on myself and start going less and less but I really am enjoying my practice. Over the years it’s been  challenge for me to keep up with exercising because it seemed like more of a chore to me than anything else. What I really wanted was the results but wasn’t willing to put in the work. It’s been like this for most of my life where I wanted to do things but when I realized the work that was involved I would quit.

Yesterday Marie and I went to another one of Jeff Combs’s events in Long Island and he was talking about paying the dues in order to be successful. In order to be successful we have to put the work in and know that the process is just as important, if not more, than the result. We can have a result in mind but until we are actually in the process we don’t know that journey will lead us.

In the couple of weeks since the completion of the challenge I have been catching the old thought creeping in. you know, the ones of my ego telling me that I won’t be able to sustain all of the things that I accomplished because I am not meant to hold on to the good because the good is never meant to last.

This graduation is proof that I am moving in the right direction and that I am meant to do bigger things. I must keep paying my dues and I will get to where I want to go.

In a way I have graduated to a new level of being and so the fact that these are happening simultaneously is no coincidence.

 

Posted by Ran Isner

So, my first blog post after completing the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge… I must say I was looking forward to writing this because it’s become part of my routine and I like the accountability aspect of it.

In the several days after completing the challenge I have experienced a lot of things. There was the exhilaration of completing it, then there was a little sadness that it ended, after that came the letdown and my mind saying “You deserve a break”(some indulgent eating involved) and then came the awareness to it and finally the acceptance.

I’m are that I’m not the only one that’s experienced these things after a monumental accomplishment and that is awesome because it reminds me I’m human. I realize that it takes me back to the same old programming in my brain and also, Rome wasn’t built in a day. What is important is the awareness I bring to it because when one recognizes it, it is much easier to address it once you embrace it.

Embracing the “bad” is crucial even though it’s not really bad, it’s proof that one is going in the right direction. If we don’t have these moments where we revert to our old patterns it means that we didn’t push forward too begin with. It’s the balance of breakdowns and breakthroughs that makes this journey worth while.

I am beginning to understand just how instrumental this give and take between the two is, as it lends itself to gaining perspective for the past and how one can change their mindset in the present moment and shift one’s consciousness towards the breakthrough they seek to have or receive unexpectedly. That awareness to this has helped shift my mindset to a more positive one that allows for growth instead of regression.

The mind body connection is a fascinating thing because of how prevalent it is in our lives. Our mind commands our body to do certain things because of how it perceives a given situation and it affects our wellbeing on a very basic level. Our bodies do not function the same when we feel stressed and anxious. We feel bogged down, exhausted and overall yucky. Luckily, our minds do not operate independently and we can determine what thoughts we have.

Even though I took my foot of the gas for a couple of days, I was able to redirect my thoughts and my mindset to where I am in action and feeling great about myself . My body is reacting accordingly. You see, the way I see it, our body wants to be the healthiest it can be and our mind has a different idea so it wants to control our body in the way it used to.

There is a new Sheriff in town, and it wants my body to feel amazing!

Week 17 – Unforgettable

September 29, 2016

img_3918

Marie & Ran at Grandmother Nora’s 90th

I knew this week was going to be a bloodbath! Between getting my period (sorry fellas) and over-indulging in Ritz crackers I predicted yesterday I would be up about 4lbs.  I got on the scale Wednesday morning like I normally do and it was pretty cool when I didn’t go to pieces over the weight on the scale.  I actually just did it matter-of-factly, recorded the weight and moved on!  I got dressed and put on skinny jeans and a button down shirt that used to not fit me, and I felt great walking out the door like that.  Have I finally evolved past my weight on the scale defining me?  Now that’s a non-scale victory!

In this week’s video blog, I spoke about reaching my upper limits with the completion of this challenge.  For me that means, wanting to lay in bed, eat Ritz crackers (apparently) and binge watch The Newsroom.  And, I got a cold literally right after the final weigh-in.  I assume this isn’t a coincidence.  It’s my body breaking down and giving me the reason to go ahead and give up on moving forward.  What is it about our minds that they give up as soon as we step out of our comfort zone?  Don’t forget, last week I reached a lower weight than I have been in 6 years!! That’s a huge step out of the comfort zone and my mind was like “Um yeah NO, MARIE, go back to bed.”

Happy to report my cold is much better and I put a moratorium on Ritz crackers for the time being.  My goal for the rest of this challenge (until my maintenance photos are due in November) is to lose another 5lbs.  This is on target with how I’ve been losing for the last 6 weeks, so it feels very realistic and achievable.

Truly the best part of this challenge has been rediscovering my passions and my hobbies that I’d put on a shelf for so long.  Once upon a time, I was doing theater, singing and being creative.  Once I had kids, I thought that I couldn’t do that anymore.  It took a long time and for me to shed the unwanted weight and feel good about myself for me to put myself out there again.  This weekend I had the pleasure of singing 2 songs at my Grandmother Nora’s 90th Birthday Party and it was a joy.  30lbs ago I wouldn’t have had to confidence to do it. What a shame it would have been if I hadn’t been able to sing for her because I wasn’t feeling myself.  She’s truly an “unforgettable” woman and I wanted to celebrate her without dragging my insecurities into it.

Week 17 Results

Weight: 188.8 (-8.4 since start, +5.2 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0

Workouts: 2

Non-Scale Victory:  My weigh-in this week was easy, not because of the weight on the scale, but because I didn’t let it define the kind of day I was going to have, or how I felt about myself.

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  The new No cheese/no pizza rule I’ve implemented.  Since I gave up dairy back in May I haven’t had one slice of pizza and I’ve only had cheese a few times (on planned in advance cheat days).  This weekend while I was celebrating my Grandmother’s 90th birthday I was faced with a lot of temptations, including both cheese and pizza.  I decided that I’d implement this rule (even on cheat days) because I know they are trigger foods for me and can only lead to trouble.

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles

Posted by Ran Isner

Here we are, the final post of the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge and the emotions are bittersweet. On the one hand, I am sad that it’s come to an end because I have put so much into it. On the other hand, I am happy because I know that my journey doesn’t end here.

I have been reflecting on this 16 week journey for the past couple of days and I cannot believe how much was accomplished during the time. I have created a healthy routine, I have held myself accountable to you and I have let go of things that have not been serving me and I was not open enough to acknowledge.

The most important one and the one that was affecting me the most was the overwhelming sense of guilt I’ve been living in for over a decade now. I have not allowed myself to be who I really was because I was feeling guilty about leaving my home in Israel and creating a new home here in the US. Guilt has almost broken up my marriage because I  refused to see that my actions were not serving the best interest of my family, meaning my wife and children, even though they are the world to me and I cannot imagine my life without them in it.

Owning up to me guilt has been instrumental in my transformation because it go me to reconnect with ME again and my soul so desperately needed that. It has deepened my connection with my wife because now I can truly express myself without any judgement and guilt. I am able to be present with my children and enjoy the moments we get to spend together. For the longest time I was so unhappy with who I have become and I felt that there was no hope.

Working on myself and understanding the events that have shaped my life have allowed me to be open to experience new things. Peta Kelly’s “The New Way Live” event in May is what inspired the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge because it spoke about being the first one to do something so you can inspire others to do the same. The theme was about finding your jeaniius, the one thing that you can do so well that it is your moral obligation to share it with the world. I know now that I was put on this earth to change lives, to encourage people to find their own jeaniius and make a difference in this world. I gave myself the permission to operate from the space of love because I know n my bones that it emirates from me so brightly and that people deserve to know that they are loved and that they have permission to love, themselves and others. I call meek The Love Warrior because  love is the one thing worth fighting for.

I express gratitude every day and am thankful that I am where I am and that I am doing what aligns with my soul and that I am practicing to approach every thing I do with love.

I would like to thank you all for being a part of this journey and for holding me accountable to be the most honest, real me that I can be and for being my sounding board for my breakdowns and breakthroughs. This might mark the end of this challenge but it is most certainly not the end of this journey, it is merely the beginning. Life is lived in the present moment so it can never truly be the end.

Results:

Weight: 151.0( -5.5 since last week, -5.6 since start)

Cleanse days: 16 total for the challenge

Workouts: 42 ( 6 short of goal)

Books I have read:

  1. Love Louder by Preston Smiles
  2. The War Of Art by Steven Pressfield
  3. The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks
  4. 50 Ways To Yay by Alexi Panos

What I would like to be acknowledged for this challenge:

I would like to be acknowledged for finally loving myself enough so I could find the Ran that has been absent all these years. The Ran that dimmed his light so much that he was depriving the world of his true gift and his true sense of purpose. I would like to be acknowledged for focusing on the process and not the result.

I am a stand for all of you to find or re-discover what it is that ignites your soul and a stand for love and the notion that we all make an impact in other people’s lives. How are you going to light yourself on fire?

Posted by Ran Isner

Today my wife completed her “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge and I could not be more proud of her than I am right now. The morning started with her last way in and she was able to break her lowest weight since her pregnancy with our second child. This, by all means is an awesome result but she didn’t reach the goal she set for herself. Do you know what the most beautiful thing about it is? She wasn’t going to lose that weight anyway!

Now, what do I mean by that? Those lbs weren’t going to come off if she hadn’t started this challenge, at least not so impressively, and because she did the challenge, she lost that weight. She set her life in motion and created that weight loss for herself.

That has been my approach to this challenge the last few weeks. Whatever I achieved and didn’t… Those things weren’t going to happen anyway! Do you realize how empowering that shit is? Take that leap of faith because what you are about to do, wasn’t going to happen anyway!

Without taking that leap, my buddy Kevin wouldn’t have lost 145 lbs in a year and a half! Without taking that leap, my friend Kerri wouldn’t have completed her first Triathlon while having MS. Without taking that leap, my friend Bridget wouldn’t have lost 60 lbs and taken her life back! Without taking that leap, my sister in-law Rachel would’t have completed an entire screenplay!

I mean these are some phenomenal feats no matter how you look at them, and they all started by understanding that there was nothing to lose because none of this was going to happen anyway!

I feel like Robin Williams in “Good Will Hunting” but this message is so important because we hold ourselves back from doing so many things that even if we tried and it didn’t come out the way we wanted, it wasn’t going to happen anyway! we have the ability to decide how our life goes and it is only by taking those bold steps that we will ever really get to where we want to be.

This “mantra” if you will has given me something so powerful, it has given me permission to start taking more bold and brave actions and experiencing whatever comes along with them because as long as I keep taking those actions I can’t fail, the only way I fail is if I quit and as I said previously, that is not an option any more!

Week 16

So this is the final week, the final blog, the final weigh-in.  You can watch my weigh-in that was posted live on Facebook for all the thrills, tears and thank yous.  I feel like that video encapsulates everything I want to say in this blog, so I’m struggling to write a little bit. What I’m feeling is, “How much more could you possible have to say Marie?!??!”

Here’s what I will add to everything I’ve already said for the last 16 weeks.  All my life I have winged it, phoned it in, used my common sense and charm to get through most of the hurdles in life and NEVER really committed to myself or anything in my life (except for my marriage).  Even with my kids, I don’t worry too much about stuff, because I always rely on my ability “to figure it out when I’ll need to.”  I have a lot of confidence in my ability to figure it out when it’s necessary, but what that has led to for me has been this safety net of “don’t worry about it, until you HAVE to”.

It’s made it very easy for me to stay mediocre at things in life, my schooling, my singing, my acting, my career and my life.  I’ve been on a 2 year journey to reawaken to my greatness or my Jeaniius (as Peta Kelly would call it).  I knew that I was meant for a great life, not just mediocre one.  In the end, that’s what this Light Yourself on Fire challenge has been about for me – making a real commitment to myself.

That has meant getting more organized and systematic with everything in my life so that I make sure and get it all done.  Making a commitment to Ran so that he could go 3 nights a week to the gym.  Making a commitment to assisting at Landmark for 10 weeks so that others could experience transformation.  Making a commitment to everyone who was cheering me on that I wouldn’t give up. Making a commitment to myself that I wouldn’t eat dairy and eggs since I have a sensitivity.   I made crap-tons of commitments for 16 weeks, and the thing that came out of it was that I found myself feeling FREE, HAPPY, ACCOMPLISHED and here’s the biggie LIKE I MATTER.

I have heard from some of you that you were touched/moved/inspired by my journey and that’s the best part for me.  All I ever wanted was to make an impact and to know that I can make a difference and that I matter.  Thank you for allowing me to have that breakthrough.

FINAL WEEK 16 Results

Weight: 183.6 **New Lowest Weight!!** (-13.6 since start, -1.4 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 2 (18 out of 16 total for the challenge)

Workouts: 3 (42 out of 48 total for the challenge)

Non-Scale Victory:  Definitely shopping for a dress at Macy’s with only 1 hour to spare.  I didn’t have time to hem and haw and get all upset in the dressing room (this has happened before).  I ran in grabbed a bunch of dresses in sizes 12 & 14.  I didn’t want to get something like what I would normally get – something that would hide my body or camouflage the bad parts.  I wanted to get something fun and sexy and something that I would feel good about wearing.  I would usually try the bigger sizes first so see if I even needed the smaller size at all without have to stuff myself like a sausage into anything too small.  But not this time, I figured, “Lemme try the 12s first!” With excitement! I am very happy that I settled on a red lace dress that fit like a glove without any tugging or pulling.  Zipped right up and felt amazing.  I won’t even need Spanx!! LOL

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  Completing my challenge! I had decided a few weeks ago that the best way to finish it off would be with a Facebook Live final weigh-in.  I didn’t tell anyone though!  I was leaving myself room to back out of it.  But once I declared it on my vlog on Tuesday, it was go-time!  I also decided to do it in my sportsbra and shorts which is probably the scariest thing I have ever done, because I had no opportunity to edit it (like with filters or cropping, like you can do in a photo) since it was live.  I am proud of myself for not worrying about being “pretty” and instead just being real.

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles

Books I completed during the challenge:

Go Pro (for the 3rd or 4th time), by Eric Worre

Organize Your Life, by Susan Sly

The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight

You Are a Bad Ass, by Jen Sincero

This week’s title inspired by: Just Like Fire, by Pink

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