Out of Touch

June 12, 2018

Earth is Hiring: The New way to live, lead, earn and give for millennials and anyone who gives a sh*t

New Book by Peta Kelly

Do you ever feel just so outside your own mind and body that you literally don’t know what you like or don’t like?

That’s me, right now.  Like “what the eff am I doing with my life?” mixed with “how did I get here?” And I’ve been at this intersection for about a year.  To borrow an expression from the youngin’s, FML.

And that sucky feeling got so into my bones that last night I sat in bed making a list of “kinks” and “things that feel good”.  That’s when I realized, “man, I’ve gotten so far out of alignment, I don’t know who I am.”

Do I like tuna fish for lunch? Or would I rather drink a protein shake? Do I like to cook, or do I dread it? Do I like drinking espresso daily, or is it a crutch? This is the shit going through my head while I made that list last night. I came up with a long list of stuff that feels good (espresso was on it) and a shorter list of “Kinks” in my hose.  (See Peta Kelly’s new book Earth is Hiring for the “Kink” theory).

The truly unfortunate part is that the Kinks for me right now, or where I’ve been spending a lot of my time over the last few years, and it’s why I have no love flowing through my tap. One of the major Kinks right now is being on Facebook.  I scroll through mindlessly so many times a day I can’t count.  I don’t like what I’m seeing or even what I’m sharing sometimes.  I am totally STUCK when it comes to Facebook right now and that’s a problem for me because, well, I do a lot of business on Facebook.  A friend/mentor of mine just took a 30 day Facebook hiatus and I thought to myself, “Oh I wish I could do that” because I didn’t think I was allowed to since I have so much business on Facebook. There isn’t anyone telling me I can’t quit FB for a month, just me and the faceless people I think are watching/judging me.

Another Kink was my diet.  I’d been following the same diet for years and it didn’t feel like it was working for me anymore.  I didn’t have any excitement around it and every time I thought about it the faceless masses in my head told me, “Marie, you don’t have a choice, this is what you must do.” KINK KINK KINK.  But the truth is, my body has changed, I’m getting older wiser, I just got diagnosed with a thyroid condition and my goals are different.  In a place of alignment, I’d be willing to play around with my diet and experiment, but being in a KINKY stuck place, again, I didn’t think I had a choice.

That’s where the major Kink comes into focus.  Having a choice for me is so important to my flow and my alignment that when I don’t have a choice it really jams my radar for life.  I like living in NYC because if I don’t want to be somewhere I can jump in a cab/subway/bus and get outta there easily, it’s my choice.  I’m not stranded somewhere without a car.  I like working for myself because I have a choice as to what to focus on and where to put my energy to make money.  I’m married to a man who really supports me and let’s me navigate our lives for the most part, because I like to have a choice.  Listen, I’ve worked jobs and always been a valued employee because I am also a rule follower and a producer, so I can do that and I have for years, but it’s not necessarily what floats my boat.  I’m also really good at being a team player (I should add that to my feel good list) so working in groups is great for me too.  I can adapt and be flexible (like most kids of divorce) but it’s not water flowing, tap is on, loving life kinda mojo for me.  It’s duty and obligation and it takes away my choice.  KINK.

So here I am, writing this blog, which makes me feel good so that I can UNKink some of these Kinks.  I changed my diet almost 3 months ago and gave up red meat and poultry.  I’m a pescatarian now!  I also started using the Weight Watchers app to count points/calories.  That’s another UNKink I’m working on.  I’m getting back to reading for the first 10 minutes after I wake up everyday because it UNKinks me.  So far these tweaks are helping to get my juices flowing again which is why I have the presence of mind to even write this blog.

But Facebook, seductive, life-shaming and affirming at the same time, Facebook.  What to do with you?  I’m open to ideas, people! For now, I’m going to post 2x a day and look at it morning and night and that’s it!  I’m gonna give this a try for a week and see if it helps UNKink me.  That’s my choice!  Choosing UNkinks me too.  Even if it’s just choosing where to get my espresso in the morning.  Aaaaahhhhhhh. 🙂

 

 

 

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One Response to “Out of Touch”

  1. […] of all, I’m going to focus on doing the things that “feel good” and avoid as many Kinks as possible.  Tap starts to flow again and then, flip the script to “How does it get better […]

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