Posted by Ran Isner 

Last night I graduated to a white-blue belt in my Kickboxing practice. As part of the graduation process I was required to write an essay and do one hour of community service.
In the essay I was asked to write about what I have gained since beginning my practice and if I have noticed a change in myself. What came out were honest words of gratitude and acceptance. 

I am grateful because this practice has allowed me to join a community that embraces everyone with no judgement, a community that supports one another and not expects something in return and a community that reminds you that it’s not about the result, but about the process. 

The professor said something that even though I’ve heard it before, it resonated with me in that moment. He said that the week after earning the belt is very important. It is important because that is when people take their foot of the gas and decide that it’s time for a break and that’s why one should push even more. 

The work doesn’t stop just because you went up a belt (insert whatever accomplishment that suits your situation) if anything it becomes more intense and every level becomes more meaningful because it means that you are taking one step closer to where you want to be. Even after you are a black belt, the work always continues because we never stop learning.

Another thing I wrote about in my essay is how much this school is in alignment with who I am and who I am striving to become. I want to surround myself with people who share the same values as I do and are committed to creating a culture of empowerment and positivity. Building people up is so much more fun than tearing them down.

I am grateful every time I get on that mat and am looking forward to the journey ahead.

Marie got her groove back this week!! I don’t know if it was cleansing, finally getting antibiotics in my body or the grilled cheese I allowed myself to have, but I definitely felt a shift this week.  I was in a bit of a slump feeling a little bored, a little sorry for myself (everyone else gets to eat pizza!) and a little cocky too (sure why not have gluten!) that just created a perfect storm in my brain of feeling not myself lately.

I was also sick with bronchitis, which I finally went to the doctor for and get meds for, so I’m feeling much much better.  Getting sick is just the perfect reason to throw in the towel sometimes, and I didn’t totally do it this past month, but I did with a bunch of stuff.

Bad habits I let sneak back into life in the past month

  • watching tv before bed
  • ordering thai food takeout instead of cooking like 1x a week
  • staying up too late
  • winging it and not bullet journalling
  • skipping my morning shake!!! eeek I said it out loud
  • eating gluten
  • skipping the gym on Sunday mornings because I was tired and wanted to snuggle my babies

Transformation is all about getting UNCOMFORTABLE and doing new things, and I was doing that for 16 weeks and then slipped back into COMFORTABLE.  Because, human.

So now that’s off my chest, I can move on! And redirect these to better habits.

  • watching tv before bed  –> reading before bed
  • ordering thai food takeout instead of cooking like 1x a week –> choosing a dedicated “take out” night with my family so that its not a result of laziness, but more of a planned thing
  • staying up too late –> in bed by 11!
  • winging it and not bullet journalling –> bullet journal every (damn) day
  • skipping my morning shake!!! eeek I said it out loud –> commit to drinking my shake every morning no matter what
  • eating gluten –> remembering how good I felt without the gluten in my body
  • skipping the gym on Sunday mornings because I was tired and wanted to snuggle my babies  –> making a commitment to get to the gym once each weekend and knowing that snuggling won’t get me those Michelle Obama arms

Week 21 Results

Weight: 184.8 (-12.4 since start, -5.2 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 2

Workouts: 2

Non-Scale Victory:  Went down another size in clothes.  This time it was in a top from LulaRoe that I used to wear a Small in (they run very big) and now I can wear the XS!  What a thrill, I’ve never worn an XS size in anything!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week: Getting back into my bullet journal this week.  I was doing really well with it and then kinda fell off once school started.  I noticed that when I have my tasks written I get so much more done.  So I’m glad I got back into this week and started planning my tasks ahead for better time management and productivity.

Book I am reading this week: Ugh, still working on this

Song that inspired this week’s title:  Let the Groove Get In, by Justin Timberlake

Finally this week I went to the urgent care and got diagnosed with Bronchitis.  Finally.  My 90 year old grandmother was like, “Don’t you think you should have gone sooner?” Maybe!! I’ve been suffering for about 6 weeks, so yea maybe!! But honestly it usually takes me a month to get over a cough so I didn’t really even think about the doctor until week 6 began.

Now that I’ve got some meds in me and I’m not coughing up a lung, I got some of my energy back! I’ve really been struggling these last few weeks to keep up the pace of kids, work, chorus, landmark, housework, blogs, boot camp, and trying to have a little fun on the weekends.  Even this week I didn’t write this blog on time and I wasn’t able to film a video blog.

When I don’t complete my tasks on time it makes me feel like a lesser version of myself.  I relate to myself differently and I end up feeling like crap –> wanting to eat crap.  That’s kinda how my life goes.

Feel like crap –> want to eat crap –> eat crap –> Feel like crap —> repeat

I know what I know about what to eat, what not to eat, when to exercise, when hunger is real, when it’s phantom (emotional) hunger.  And I’ve been SO GOOD about keeping to my no dairy/egg lifestyle that it would be shame to give it all back. Especially when I feel better without it.  But I think with the change of season and feeling under the weather, I faced some new challenges. Week 2o was a little bit of a wash, but I vow to make week 21 an improvement and get back to myself.

Week 20 Results

Weight: 190 (-7.2 since start, +1.4 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0

Workouts: 2

Non-Scale Victory:  I attended an event this week and bumped into someone I haven’t seen in a year!  She said “You look great!” and I was thrilled.  Thank you!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week: Definitely getting to boot camp twice, because it wasn’t this week with Daphne waking us up at 5am all week.  Wednesday morning I seriously considering skipping it and napping instead, but I pushed through!

Book I am reading this week: Hell, I haven’t  been reading, I commit to picking this up again in the upcoming week

Song that inspired this week’s title:  I Know What I Know, by Paul Simon

The Tipping Point

October 21, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

This week has been a little rough. My UC ( Ulcerative Colitis) is acting up and I am resisting growth something fierce.

I am ready for a breakthrough in both my health and wellness business and with UC because I feel that with all of the growth I’ve had in the past couple of months, I am primed for one. My ego and mind however, they have a different idea.

They are telling me that I am not good enough, that it’s time to rest, and that this might be it for me. I keep reminding myself that this is my upper limit and that it means that I’m on the verge of something big but I’m also terrified by it. The unknown has always been a scary thing for me and even as a kid I always wanted to know what was going to happen next and when I knew, I was then able to relax.

I know now that the exciting part of not knowing what’s going to happen next is that we get to create it ourselves but I am still terrified by it. I feel that this is the tipping point for me and that it’s time for me to dive in deep. I am disheartened by this because it feels like even though I have made of all this progress, I am right back when I started. I know that it’s not true because I am no where near where I was 5 months ago! Our minds are fickle that way, aren’t they?

I am ready to feel better and keep making an impact in this world because honestly, the world needs it. I am ready to not play the victim anymore because it’s comfortable and familiar. I am choosing to embrace success instead of being scared of it. I am choosing to heal so I can be them man I was meant to be and not be ruled by a condition and I am setting the intention of healing so that I can allow myself to heal.

 

I have been dreading writing this blog entry because the old me thinks that sharing this meant that I failed but here I am writing these words and if anything says anything about my progress, this is it.

My mind and ego will always be there, trying to tell me that I am not good enough but it’s up to me to tell them to shut the fuck up and keep pushing myself so that I can change the world.

I’m learning to recieve

October 14, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

Why is it so difficult for people to receive? Whether it’s compliment or money or whatever it is. Sometimes just getting a hug seems weird to people. I am one of those people as well, I mean I never refuse a hug because I’m a hugger but I do have trouble receiving.

I think that we underestimate the impact that receiving something has on us as human beings because we are so quick to dismiss the very thing that people want to give us. How many times have you downplayed a compliment by tearing yourself down? How many times have you refused a money offering, big or small saying “it’s not necessary”? 

I am slowly learning that receiving does not make me pompous or greedy, it simply means I bring value. We don’t think of ourselves as valuable enough and often times it holds us back from receiving or being open to new opportunities and end up attracting situations that validate the notion that we have no value.

I have learned to be grateful and graceful when being complimented and I feel the difference in the way it feels in my body. I no longer feel discomfort and this empty feeling of unworthiness, instead I feel pride and and a sense of accomplishment. A person would not offer a compliment if it isn’t genuine, that’s at least how I feel.

Having the ability to receive has brought back people into my life that I haven’t seen in decades. This past weekend I reconnected with someone who I went to elementary school with. We are friends on Facebook and have been talking about getting together for over a year and finally made it happen. He is a filmmaker who didn’t know that I was an actor because I have not allowed myself to receive that title. It doesn’t matter that it’s been years since I set foot on a theater stage, the passion for acting has never gone away and acting is part of my identity. I was finally open to receiving it and theopportunity presented itself. This person has also been following my journey and is completely inspired by it. These are the people I want to attract and now it’s possible because I am open to receive.

Allow yourself to receive, you deserve it.

Me and my elementary school buddy

Are we all Lost Stars? Trying to light up the dark? (song lyrics)

I’m a little lost this week.  I feel good! But I failed at my 2 day deep cleanse when at 6pm I caved and ate dinner.  Turns out I wasn’t the only one this week who struggled.  I opened Facebook and saw that Peta Kelly had the same problem as me!

img_4055

I admit, it made me feel better!! One thing I know is that it’s important to listen to your body, and my body was just not feeling the whole cleanse thing this week.  I walked over 15,000 steps yesterday, and ate nothing till 6pm, so girl had to eat!!  Plus, I’ve been coughing and sick for about a month (which I know sounds ridiculous, but it takes me a really long to get rid of a cough due to my allergies).  It’s really been a struggle to keep up with my workouts being sick.  I have been able to maintain going once a week at least. Kids having multiple days off from school, getting sick, and the general October-ness of life can really throw things off if you let it.  And believe me, I am trying not to let it!  It’s still struggle though.

The goods news this week is that I hit my one year anniversary of attending New Body Bootcamp.img_4056

I remember being really nervous my first few classes because I was afraid to be the “fattest girl in the class”.  I’m glad to report I don’t think like that anymore.  It’s taken a lot of self development to realize not everything is about me and my weight.  I am not defined by a number on the scale.  Having said that, I’m very happy to be 18lbs lighter than this day last year.  I’ve also lowered my body fat percentage by 4.2% and released 10 inches.  Not to mention going down a clothing size or 2 and reduced my BMI by 3pts!! Wow when you look at it that way, it’s the start of my brand new ending.

Week 19 Results

Weight: 188.6 (-8.6 since start, +3.4 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0

Workouts: 1

Non-Scale Victory:  Getting compliments from people I haven’t seen in a few months is always a highlight of my week.  My business coach Jeffery Combs even acknowledged me at an event of his on Saturday and hearing everyone clap for me was a victory for sure!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week: Continued working on my new project the #ParentsPassionProject. I’ve started to talking to some people about joining me and I’m constantly getting out of my comfort zone to spread the word. Check out my video launching the idea!

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles  (I promise to finish it this week!!)

Song that inspired this week’s title: Lost Stars, by Adam Levine from the movie Begin Again

 

#IamHumanAF

October 9, 2016

taking selfies is dressing rooms, Human

Hi! I’m Marie Ingrisano Isner and I am HumanAF.

Yeah, you read that right.

I hold (and have held) a lot of titles in my life: student, rebel, employee, wife, mother, entrepreneur, president, member, fattest girl in the room, fittest girl in the room – but they are all under the umbrella of HUMAN.

I’m not out to be the next Oprah, I’m just a mom on a mission to inspire people to their greatness.

“Just like you, my super weakness is my super power… I’m human. Human AF.” –Peta Kelly  This quote really resonated with me.

I preach practicing self-care and being kind to yourself, but some days my greatest achievement is not gagging when I see myself in the mirror.  Human.

I get up in front of groups of people and share my story very candidly, but the noise in my own head sometimes keeps me from admitting how hard I have struggled to be 183lbs (which for some is a gross weight to be, but for me, it’s an improvement).  Human.

After picture outtakes that are hard to look at


I’m that annoying patron who asks the waiter about the cheese & gluten content of every dish before ordering, but I’ll eat a sleeve of Ritz crackers laying in bed watching TV if I’ve had a rough day. Human.

I left a corporate job and started my own business from scratch 3 years ago and built it into a full time income, but I’ve been fired from a few embarrassing places like an eye glass store, a movie theatre, and a commercial building in NY. Human.

I work on my personal development every day and remind myself over and over not everything “is about me”, but if a salesperson in a store ignores me I go all Brooklyn on their ass in 10 seconds.  Human.


I get annoyed when people are too focused on their phones walking down a busy NYC street, but some days I’ll piss away an hour looking at nonsense on IMDB about Mark Ruffalo just because.  Human.

He made a hashtag out of what I said #swoon


I work so hard to “meet people where they are” and not enforce my standards on everyone I meet, but I have no tolerance for people who are checked out and asking questions that have already been answered. Human.

I wrote a cookbook and self-published it for fun, because I love home cooked meals, but some days I eat prosciutto out of the package for dinner. Human.

I’m so excited to realize my vision and launch all the new projects I’m working on and I never forget how grateful I am to have these opportunities, but some days I hear a “no” from someone or a criticism of my business and I want to cry and run back to doing make-overs at Lord and Taylor for my job.  Human.

Like I said, I’m not out to be Oprah, just a regular person who can make an impact.  I’m the female, Italian, 21st century George Bailey, if you will.

Reminding myself that I’m human, when magazines and movie stars all look air-brushed, perfect and without any stretchmarks makes me feel better, because I am HUMAN and not a 2 dimensional perfect image (and neither are they, btw).


If I hide the part of my life that’s difficult and challenging, I’m pretending to be something I’m not, which is, Human.

embrace-the-glorious-mess-that-you-are-quote-canv

So to remind yourself, in the words of Liz Gilbert, “embrace the glorious mess that you are.”  Embrace it, love it, and bless it.  It’s you, and you’re HUMAN AF.

So, hi everyone! I am Marie and I am totally and completely Human AF.

Thanks to Peta Kelly for inspiring  this post!

#IamHumanAF #LightYourselfOnFire #ParentsPassionProject

Graduation

October 9, 2016

Doesn’t it feel like graduating when you complete something you have been working very hard on? Graduating also means that now it’s time to move on and create something new.

On Oct. 26 I am graduating from white belt at Kickboxing and I am really excited. It affirms all of my hard work and commitment to bettering myself. Practicing both Jiu Jitsu and kickboxing has really been instrumental for me on the challenge and what I am most happy about is that I am still very much committed to my growth as a practitioner.

I was afraid I might give up on myself and start going less and less but I really am enjoying my practice. Over the years it’s been  challenge for me to keep up with exercising because it seemed like more of a chore to me than anything else. What I really wanted was the results but wasn’t willing to put in the work. It’s been like this for most of my life where I wanted to do things but when I realized the work that was involved I would quit.

Yesterday Marie and I went to another one of Jeff Combs’s events in Long Island and he was talking about paying the dues in order to be successful. In order to be successful we have to put the work in and know that the process is just as important, if not more, than the result. We can have a result in mind but until we are actually in the process we don’t know that journey will lead us.

In the couple of weeks since the completion of the challenge I have been catching the old thought creeping in. you know, the ones of my ego telling me that I won’t be able to sustain all of the things that I accomplished because I am not meant to hold on to the good because the good is never meant to last.

This graduation is proof that I am moving in the right direction and that I am meant to do bigger things. I must keep paying my dues and I will get to where I want to go.

In a way I have graduated to a new level of being and so the fact that these are happening simultaneously is no coincidence.

 

You guys, I cooked a bunch this week, deep cleansed, had a cold, had several appointments, took my kid to karate TWICE, and baked muffins.  Dude, I’m exhausted and it’s only Wednesday.  The new routine of school and not having summer as an excuse to blow off cooking is like a whole new world.  Every year I make this transition but it is always a challenge.  So I salute all you moms and dads out there working on packing your kids lunch box and still getting yourself to the gym.  It’s hard, it’s so annoyingly hard!

Sometimes, it’s also hard for me to write a blog every week because I’m outta shit to say.   That’s kinda how this “healthy living” thing goes.  You fall into a routine and it’s not super exciting all the time.  You just keeping clicking along.  And that’s me this week.  I’m keeping my head above water and I’m chugging along with all my to-dos (eat, sleep, workout, pack the lunchbox).

Did I mention I saw “Something Rotten” on Broadway this week too?

Week 18 Results

Weight: 185.2 (-12 since start, -3.6 change since last week)

Cleanse days completed this week: 2

Workouts: 1

Non-Scale Victory:  Going down a size in clothes is so rewarding I can’t even tell you.  My skirts that are a size large are a little big and my jeans that are size 14 are definitely too big.  I’ve been on the other end of this (when the sizes go up) and it’s not fun to have to go to the store for bigger clothes.  I have been selling my bigger clothes on ebay for practically nothing just hoping that someone else can use them since they are in great shape.  Maybe they are going down a size too and need new clothes 🙂

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  This week I started my final course in the Curriculum for Living and came up with an idea for a kick-ass project called #ParentsPassionProject.  Check out my video launching the idea!

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles

Song that inspired this week’s title: It’s Hard to be the Bard, from Something Rotten

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