Week 6 – Don’t Blow It

July 13, 2016

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It’s interesting that I’m reading a book about resistance, and tonight I am resisting writing this blog update.  Funny how that works.  Thanks a lot Steven Pressfield.

Here’s a juicy tidbit from The War of Art

“Resistance and Sex

Sometimes Resistance take the form of sex, or an obsessive preoccupation with sex.  Why set? Because sex provides immediate and powerful gratification.  When someone sleeps with us, we feel validated and approved of, even loved.  Resistance gets a big kick out of that.  It knows it has distracted us with a cheap, easy fix and kept us from doing our work.

Of course not all sex is a manifestation of Resistance.  In my experience, you can tell by the measure of hollowness you feel afterward.  The more empty you feel, the more certain you can be that your true motivation was not love or even lust but Resistance.”

It goes without saying that this principle applies to drugs, shopping, masturbation, TV gossip, alcohol and the consumption of all products containing fat, sugar, salt or chocolate.”

This totally resonated for me because how many times in my life did I eat an entire sleeve of cookies or bag of chips and then feel hollow inside.  It was my equivalent of sleeping with a stranger that I’d just met.  I never really over ate Kale chips, it was always fat, sugar, salt and chocolate.  The food was my “cheap, easy fix that kept me from doing my work”.  I thought for a long time I was an out of control emotional eater, but maybe I was just having Resistance?  Interesting…

Meanwhile, last night was my cheat meal, so when I weighed myself I was none too thrilled, but I realize it’s an anomaly.  Believe me, I was definitely trying to think of ways to drop 4lbs before publishing this blog, but I didn’t come up with any, so I decided to post the truth.

Last week, I received so much support from you all on my struggles with losing just 0.4 of a pound.  Thank you.  I wish I could say I didn’t cry and totally give up for a few days, but I did.  Oh and did I mention I had a meltdown at the gym?  The cherry on top of my dairy-free sundae this week, crying to the 22 year old trainer at the gym about my weight.  I was so stressed out.  I finally realized that being so stressed wasn’t going to help, it was only going to hurt.  With cortisol coursing through my veins it’s gonna be difficult to continue to lose weight.  That’s just how the body works!

The plus side, is that I’m getting my workouts in and really pushing at the gym.  I feel stronger and more toned.  I am still using my bullet journal and getting things done in a timely manner.  I am falling asleep to peaceful quiet instead of sitcom re-runs.  My clothes fit a lot better.  I am happier.  People notice a change in me, even if it isn’t reflected on the scale the way I want.  I’m reading an entire book every 7-10 days.  I’m not wasting time on things like TV or Candy Crush.  I have made a lot of progress over the past 6 weeks, and there’s still 10 weeks to go.  I am not going to let a number on the scale define me anymore.  Not when there’s so much other great stuff happening.  Just like I don’t let my IQ, shoe size or cup size define me, I am not going to let this define me either.

Week 6 Results

Weight: 193 (-4 since start, +3.4 change since last week)

Workouts: 4 (16 total since start)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0 (5 total for the challenge)

Non-Scale Victory: Wearing a new outfit (with a strapless bra!) and feeling really good in it.  Feeling pretty, sexy and confident.  A lot of those feelings are new for me.

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  My first 6am workout in a long while.  And I actually enjoyed the morning air and the sunshine during the workout instead of hating being awake that early.

Book I am reading this week: The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

This week’s title inspired by: Don’t Blow It, by Eyes Lips Eyes and Honorable Mention: Get Over It, by Ok Go

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