Posted by Ran Isner

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So… Here we are… Week 8. It’s been 2 months on this incredible journey and it’s time for a little reflection.

The past 2 months have been instrumental in the journey of rediscovering myselWhen I started I set certain goals for myself, goals which I intend to achieve but what I am most excited about now is where this journey has taken me so far.

I have been consistently writing two blog posts a week and to my surprise, I have not had a case of writers block yet! It’s amazing what being in action and being aware and present can do to one’s creativity.

I am in the process of creating a habit of fitness and discipline through Jiu Jitsu and Thai Boxing. Not only is it getting me into shape, it has given me something far greater than that, it has given me my sense of self back. We play so many roles in life that we tend to forget about ourselves outside of these roles, we neglect the very thing that our soul needs to expand and flourish. Our roles in life are very important but how can we be the best we can be in those roles if we don’t have the one thing that holds them all together, our true selves?

In the past weeks I feel like I am starting to find that again and because I am actively working towards that goal I feel happier in my body and it motivates me to take that much better care of it.

My body is in the best shape it’s been in years and it feels amazing to be able to see physical results.

I am half way there and I can’t wait too see what the next 8 weeks have in store.

Week 8 results:

Weight: 155.4( +1.8 since last week, -1.3 since start)

Cleanse days: 0

Workouts: 3( 2 Jiu Jitsu, 1 kickboxing)

Book I am reading: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

What I would like to acknowledge myself for this week:

I would like to be acknowledged for completing 8 weeks of the “Light Yourself On Fire Challenge”!

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HALFWAY POINT!! I’m really pleased with my results so far.  So many people are starting to take notice and are supporting my journey – it really makes it so much more fun.  Thank you to everyone who made a comment and encouraged me!

I think I had a major breakthrough this week…emotionally!  Which I promise, is related to my weight.  In my business we say, how much weight did you “release”? Instead of “lose”.  Using the word “lose” makes it sound like you may want to find it again, which no one does!  So we say “release” instead, so that it may never come back and find you!  For me, my extra weight was related to so many things that I’d never realized until I became a health coach.  A lot of them are personal, but I’ll share a few here to give you an idea of how the mind/body connection can be a factor in your weight loss journey.  My family is full of people who are overweight – everywhere from 10lbs to 100lbs.  So for me, to release weight and be at my goal weight would mean on some level to not be connected with my family anymore.  That sounds crazy on the surface, but that is a real reason to resist losing weight.

You want a gut check? Take a pen and paper and write 20 reasons why you don’t want to lose weight.  Someone challenged me to do this and I did it reluctantly.  But I found it really cathartic.  The reasons will surprise you.  Another one of mine is that if I got to my goal weight I was afraid that I’d be under more scrutiny from people about how I ate and lived my life.  I was also afraid that if I got to my goal weight I’d have to eat way less to maintain it.  I’m also afraid that I’ll lose my struggle and my identity wrapped around my weight loss struggle.  The struggle is very familiar, I’ve been doing it for a decade!

I wrote the list, then I shared the list with a confidant and decided these were all “reasons” I could overcome.  And just like that, I decided to let go.  I stopped “trying to let go” or “struggling to let go” and I just let go.  One of my coaches, Jeffery Combs, has been teaching me about how letting go is a decision.  Not, as he puts it, “a ‘How do I?'”  He says, “Why don’t you?”  I decided this week I have suffered enough and I let it all go, all 2o reasons.

And you know what, I lost another half pound.  This mind/body shit really works.

I’ve named this week’s blog after a song that Ran and I performed at an event for Jeffery Combs back in December.  To me, it’s a song about letting go.  I put a link at the bottom to a short video of our performance.  Enjoy.

Week 8 Results

Weight: 187.6 (-9.4 since start, -0.4 change since last week) *Averaging 1.175lbs per week, overall goal for challenge is 25lbs

Workouts: 3 (23 total since start) *1 behind on Schedule

Cleanse days completed this week: 1 (8 total for the challenge) *Right on Schedule

Non-Scale Victory: Virtually shopping for a gala gown was actually fun this week! Instead of looking for dresses that would hide my body I was actually excited to show it off!  Buying dresses for formal events is pretty stressful for me usually and this time I was very relaxed about it.  This is big growth for me, getting dressed in the past used to give me anxiety attacks!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  I really got back in the kitchen this week and cooked up some delish food for myself and my family.  I had been resisting cooking because I was lazy, bored or just too hot! But this week I made a few new recipes and I started to enjoy cooking again!  I made Sweet & Smoky Chicken, Zesty Turkey Meatballs, Quinoa Salad and Shiitake Bacon!

Book I am reading this week: Love Louder, by Preston Smiles *Already completed my 4 book goals for the challenge

This week’s title inspired by: You Only Wake Up When’s It Over, performed by Marie & Ran Isner

Push it!

July 27, 2016

Yesterday I went to my Kickboxing class and at the end of the class I said to the instructor “you know, I felt better in last week’s class” and he said to me “I think the reason why you felt the  last class was easier is because you pushed yourself harder this class”. I wasn’t aware I was pushing myself harder, but he most certainly did.

I was tired after class. I haven’t pushed myself this hard in a very long time and that is exactly why I joined this Dojo. I know myself well enough by now and I know that I require the structure of an instructor led class and I require to train with people who push me and motivate me. I require that community because that’s where I thrive. I enjoy seeing people achieve goals they never thought possible and it inspires me to do the same. For most of my life I have been part of a team, whether it was gymnastics, a youth singing group or as a part of an acting conservatory in college, I always enjoyed being part of a community.

In all of those different environments I was able to achieve success. I was national champion in gymnastics. I was in my element performing on stage with my friends at the youth singing group. In college I graduated with honors and earned a bachelor of fine arts degree. I know that it was because of the people I surrounded myself with.

Although I achieved all of this success, and I am finally in a space where I can acknowledge myself for it and not discount it and diminish it, I still struggle with self doubt and stepping into my greatness. The struggle doesn’t exist!Iit’s made up. Nothing is hard, we have been preconditioned to describe things as hard and as a struggle and we give it a negative connotation.

During class, the instructor keeps reminding us to smile because a smile is associated with a positive experience. There is no reason why pushing yourself to your limit should make you grimace instead of having a big old smile. After all, the reason we push ourselves beyond what we thought was possible is to better ourselves, it is to be the people we know deep in our core we were meant to be and that’s quite a reason to smile if you ask me.

Push it! And smile while you do it.

 

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The two newbies at Kickboxing with Sempai

Scent Hacks!

July 26, 2016

Occasionally I like to use one of those plug-in Wallflowers I got from Bath & Body Works to freshen up my home. I have a dog and kids, so it can get kinda stuffy in here. Lately, I’ve noticed that the plug in is SUPER strong (like the smell wakes me up in the middle of the night) and makes my eyes burn, so I stopped using it.

Then I realized I could probably hack into it and make my own clean version using whatever essential oils I had laying around. I put lavender and orange in mine (not sure of those really go together but I went with it!) and did it in about 2 minutes. Now it’s plugged in and releasing oils instead of toxic stuff AND my eyes don’t burn anymore!

http://www.thelittlegreenhomemaker.com/do-it-yourself-wallflower-plug-in-refills

Posted by Ran Isner


You know how they say that once you start working out consistently you start enjoying it and God forbid, even loving it? 

Well I’m at that point now.  I am really enjoying going to Jiu Jitsu and I am actually looking forward to going every week. I enjoy the exercise and the people there are extremely nice so it make is that much easier to go in there three times a week. There is also a strong sense of community that really vibes well with me.

What it also did is motivate me to exercise on my own. I find myself doing sit-ups, crunches and push ups on my living room floor on a yoga mat for crying out loud! 

This week I have also been a lot better with my food. I stayed pretty much on track and had the best deep cleanse I have ever had. When I looked at the scale today and saw that I hadn’t put all of the weight back, I was very happy and my body is showing some results as well( as you can see by the photos above).

Over the years I have tried different ways of exercise. I went to the gym, I tried running and personal training but I could never do it long enough where I enjoyed it and was willing to develop the habit. With what I am doing now I feel I am getting all of that.

This is one habit I am not willing to kick

Week 7 results:

Weight: 153.6( -3.8 since last week, -3.1 since start)

Cleanse days: 2

Workouts: 3( 2 Jiu Jitsu, kickboxing)

Book I am reading: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

What I would like to be acknowledged for this week:

Not overeating and exercising at home.

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I was trying to figure out in my head the math on Week 7 and how much of the challenge I have completed.  (It’s 43.75%).  Numbers are a big thing for me.  I always enjoyed math as a kid and was even considered good at it until we got to the hard stuff in Pre-Calculus. Math is so black and white which is why I think I gravitated towards it. I’ve always been a very black/white, right/wrong, yes/no kinda person.  It’s something I’ve worked on, because life isn’t always black/white.  I always assumed I knew everything about a particular situation because I’m naturally inquisitive and asked a lot of questions, but that’s just not true.  There’s always going to be part of a situation that you don’t fully know about.  Naturally, then I would find out some detail that I didn’t know before and my whole perception would change.  The realization was then that I DIDN’T know everything (hah!) and what I thought was black or white was actually gray.  Usually it is gray, in fact.

Understanding this about myself has been great for my personal development and helping me not be so judgmental and all, but when it comes to your weight, either it’s UP, DOWN or the SAME.  This is math.  And it’s been pissing me off!

For the past few weeks I’ve been going up slightly after my last deep cleanse.  I was ready to throw in the towel completely (on deep cleansing) because I was failing at cleanses.  I tried twice and ended up giving up around dinner time.  Then my dad called.  My dad! “You can’t give up on cleansing!”  Ok dad, OK.  I’ll try one more time.  Maybe I needed the pressure, maybe I needed the reassurance, maybe I just needed my parent to take me to task. But I did it.  And once it was done I broke through my lowest weight since giving birth to Daphne (who’s now 20 months old by the way) and reached 188.

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How I felt stepping on the scale to 188!

I first hit 189 in January of 2016 and I’ve been flirting with it ever since.  Hit it again in June and now I’m on the other side of it at 188.  One of my goals is to be at my lowest weight in 3 years on my birthday on 8/23.  If I stayed at 188 I would achieve that goal, but my stretch goal would be to hit 185 by my birthday.  The last time I weighed 185.4 (which was my lowest since having kids was Oct. 2013).  This is a significant number for me, because for 3 years I have remembered the joy I felt seeing 185.4 on the scale that day.  I remember what I wore (a denim dress from Gap) and what I did that day.  It was a landmark day for me on this journey.  I’d love to recreate that for my 35th birthday.

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How I felt stepping on the scale to 188!

So 185, would be uncharted territory for me in this chunk of my life post having children, and who knows what could come next? The possibilities are there for the taking!

Week 7 Results

Weight: 188 (-9 since start, -4 change since last week)

Workouts: 4 (20 total since start)

Cleanse days completed this week: 2 (7 total for the challenge)

Non-Scale Victory: Wearing a bathing suit at the public pool and feeling good about what my body looked like.  For many of us “swimsuit season” sends shivers up our spines.  But for the first time in about 3 years, I’m feeling good about how I look and even better about how I feel.

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  Deep cleansing on the weekend! In 3 years of cleansing, only once did I cleanse on a weekend day (Sunday) and I dragged my friend to the movies so I could spend a few hours not thinking about food.  This week I embarked on a cleanse on Friday/Saturday and it was the first time in a while that it went well.  Maybe it was the heat, but I wasn’t that hungry.  I didn’t get any heartburn (that had been happening) and I got through it without picking a fight with my husband (that had been happening too, mostly when I was at the tail end of the cleanse).

Book I am reading this week: The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

This week’s title inspired by: Anything Could Happen, by Ellie Goulding

Posted by Ran Isner

The son of the founders of the company my wife and I are partnered with was on our team call last night and he said something that really hit me in the gut.”the noise is the loudest when we’re not in action”. WHOA! He said a very simple thing, nothing out of the ordinary but the simplicity is what made it so powerful.

I almost felt like he was talking directly to me because the noise in my head has been so fucking loud that it has debilitated me for so long. It has paralyzed me, has kept me from taking action and kept me from being the person I know I can be and doing the things I was meant to do.

On Sunday night I was debating whether or not to do a 2 day deep cleanse. According to my 16 week challenge schedule I was supposed to do it anyway but the noise was going to do it’s thing again and talk me out of it. At that moment I decided that I WANT to do the deep cleanse! I chose to do it and for the next two days I felt amazing. I hydrated like a crazy person and on top of that, I decided that I am going to take my first ever kickboxing class last night. I want to remind you, I have been cleansing for two days so going to the class is probably a bad idea. See? That’s what the noise was trying to get through to me but I was in action, so I quieted the noise and I felt amazing after that class.

The bottom line is that when we are in action, the noise almost becomes a non-factor, it becomes so quiet that you almost forget that it exists. The way I felt last night after completing the 2 day deep cleanse and after taking the class was intoxicating. I was so full of energy and I just can’t believe that I have been depriving myself of this feeling for such a long time.

I have been missing in action for a very long time and now I am drowning the noise. The noise is just that, noise, and it is undeserving of my attention anymore!

Posted By Ran Isner


 The thing about swagger is that when it resides in you, you feel unstoppable and your self confidence shoots to the sky and it damn sure feels good!
For such a long time I felt like I wasn’t anything special and that i didn’t deserve happiness, success or love for that matter. I felt like I had no power and that I had given it away to other people. I didn’t know what my truth is and what it is I  was put on this earth to do.
In the past six weeks I’ve created some new healthy habits but am also struggling to let go of old ones. I started exercising and taking Jiu Jitsu but I still find myself eating out of boredom and as a reward for things I did. The instant gratification in food is something that is very easy for me to tap into because it has been a crutch for a very long time but it has not served me in the long run. At some point in my early 30’s my Cholesterol came back a little too high and that was a wake up call to me. It hasn’t gone back up since but I refuse to be in that place again.

 

I am emotional writing all of this down because I forgot how good this felt! This unwavering, unmessable truth in myself that I no longer have to defend is a product of this journey I have been on for the past 3 years and these past six weeks in particular. I know I am on the right path and that the story that I write from now on is one of progress and setbacks, of love and gratitude but most of all it will be a story of acceptance of myself and the people who will cross my path.

I got my swagger back Ya’ll!

Week 6 Results:

Weight: 157.4( +3.2 since last week, +0.7 since beginning)

Workouts: 2(Jiu Jitsu)

Book I am reading: The big Leap by Gay Hendricks

What I want to be to be acknowledged for this week:

Loving myself, warts and all.

 

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It’s interesting that I’m reading a book about resistance, and tonight I am resisting writing this blog update.  Funny how that works.  Thanks a lot Steven Pressfield.

Here’s a juicy tidbit from The War of Art

“Resistance and Sex

Sometimes Resistance take the form of sex, or an obsessive preoccupation with sex.  Why set? Because sex provides immediate and powerful gratification.  When someone sleeps with us, we feel validated and approved of, even loved.  Resistance gets a big kick out of that.  It knows it has distracted us with a cheap, easy fix and kept us from doing our work.

Of course not all sex is a manifestation of Resistance.  In my experience, you can tell by the measure of hollowness you feel afterward.  The more empty you feel, the more certain you can be that your true motivation was not love or even lust but Resistance.”

It goes without saying that this principle applies to drugs, shopping, masturbation, TV gossip, alcohol and the consumption of all products containing fat, sugar, salt or chocolate.”

This totally resonated for me because how many times in my life did I eat an entire sleeve of cookies or bag of chips and then feel hollow inside.  It was my equivalent of sleeping with a stranger that I’d just met.  I never really over ate Kale chips, it was always fat, sugar, salt and chocolate.  The food was my “cheap, easy fix that kept me from doing my work”.  I thought for a long time I was an out of control emotional eater, but maybe I was just having Resistance?  Interesting…

Meanwhile, last night was my cheat meal, so when I weighed myself I was none too thrilled, but I realize it’s an anomaly.  Believe me, I was definitely trying to think of ways to drop 4lbs before publishing this blog, but I didn’t come up with any, so I decided to post the truth.

Last week, I received so much support from you all on my struggles with losing just 0.4 of a pound.  Thank you.  I wish I could say I didn’t cry and totally give up for a few days, but I did.  Oh and did I mention I had a meltdown at the gym?  The cherry on top of my dairy-free sundae this week, crying to the 22 year old trainer at the gym about my weight.  I was so stressed out.  I finally realized that being so stressed wasn’t going to help, it was only going to hurt.  With cortisol coursing through my veins it’s gonna be difficult to continue to lose weight.  That’s just how the body works!

The plus side, is that I’m getting my workouts in and really pushing at the gym.  I feel stronger and more toned.  I am still using my bullet journal and getting things done in a timely manner.  I am falling asleep to peaceful quiet instead of sitcom re-runs.  My clothes fit a lot better.  I am happier.  People notice a change in me, even if it isn’t reflected on the scale the way I want.  I’m reading an entire book every 7-10 days.  I’m not wasting time on things like TV or Candy Crush.  I have made a lot of progress over the past 6 weeks, and there’s still 10 weeks to go.  I am not going to let a number on the scale define me anymore.  Not when there’s so much other great stuff happening.  Just like I don’t let my IQ, shoe size or cup size define me, I am not going to let this define me either.

Week 6 Results

Weight: 193 (-4 since start, +3.4 change since last week)

Workouts: 4 (16 total since start)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0 (5 total for the challenge)

Non-Scale Victory: Wearing a new outfit (with a strapless bra!) and feeling really good in it.  Feeling pretty, sexy and confident.  A lot of those feelings are new for me.

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  My first 6am workout in a long while.  And I actually enjoyed the morning air and the sunshine during the workout instead of hating being awake that early.

Book I am reading this week: The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

This week’s title inspired by: Don’t Blow It, by Eyes Lips Eyes and Honorable Mention: Get Over It, by Ok Go

Attitude Of Gratitude

July 13, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. 11 years ago yesterday( and I believe that it was a Tuesday as well) was the first time me and Marie met and four years later we became husband and wife. I knew I liked her but didn’t have the balls to ask for her number or ask her out because I thought I didn’t deserve her  and I was ready to let that opportunity slip away, an opportunity that would forever change my life. Luckily, Marie thought that this might be worth a shot, got my phone number and made up a fake party for me to show up to. I have been grateful to her ever since.

Being married is not easy, granted we did live together before we got married so it felt like we were married-ish but being married is forever, at least for me. Two people living together, two different personalities and two different ways of looking at things are now meant to spend the rest of their lives together and you think there isn’t going to be conflict? yeah… no. Believe me it could get ugly and you know why? because when you are that close to someone and things that you thought were acceptable back then are being questioned all of a sudden, your first instinct is to get defensive and argumentative. All of a sudden you find yourself resenting your spouse and the tension is tangible.

You know what’s the worst thing your spouse can do to you? they can show you how great you can really be but your self doubt is so strong that you get angry at them for even suggesting that and in turn you get angry at them. That was at least my case. I didn’t want to hear it! I thought that I was good the way I was and that trying to be great will only set me up to fail and what’s the point. When Marie suggested therapy I completely dismissed it. I dismissed it for years but we hit a point in our relationship where if I didn’t work my shit out, things were not going to go well. I hit a version of rock bottom and it was time to get to work on myself. Marie was encouraging me to attend The Landmark Forum and I resisted for 8 or 9 years. I knew nothing about it but thought that I was going to get brainwashed and was not going to take any part of it. Again, I had nothing to base this off of and Marie had done it and clearly she wasn’t brainwashed. I was at another one of my low points and even after I committed to doing it, I was trying to find ways to talk myself out of it. They say that one’s forum starts when they register and I completely got that. My journey didn’t get off to a god start. I procrastinated and waieted too long to register so the dates I was looking at were already sold out and as it turns out it fell on Father’s Day weekend and I made that my excuse, “Oh it’s Daphne’s 1st Father’s Day, I can’t possibly do it then”. See what I did there? I made an excuse not to go. Anyway, I called the center and I plead my case as to why they should let me attend the Forum that weekend. They did their magic and I got in. I felt so good after that and I thought to myself “why can’t I feel this way all the time?”

Starting a network marketing business is what really put me in the space where I was really open to growing. Owning your own networking marketing business requires you to grow personally if you want to attract the people that will help you grow your business and that you would be willing to help them grow theirs. I am so grateful for that opportunity. I am grateful because it really made my marriage better

The reason I just gave you the reader’s digest version of this journey is because Marie was the one who planted the seed and was always a stand for me being the best version of myself. She kept showing me the way to my greatness and even though I was frustrating as all hell and there were many breakdowns along the way, we are now in a place where we can communicate in a much more constructive manner and I have grown so much because of it.

I have learned that gratitude is such a major component to happiness and to living a life I love that I make it a point to be grateful for everything, the negative and the positive because being open to it and grateful for it helps me grow as a person and makes my life better.

What I am grateful for the most is Marie, she is my #1 fan and always sees the best in me even when I don’t see it in my self.

I have adopted an attitude of gratitude and since then I have seen a tremendous shift in my life.

There is so much in life to be grateful for, so show your gratitude to the people in your lives and tell them you love them because they made your lives that much better

As promised, I am posting my results on Sunday because I said I would. It is crucial that I maintain my integrity.


I am not going to write about my journey this time but I am going to write about love.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe and as such, it has the power to heal all wounds, physical and emotional. The tragic events of the past week required me to examine that very claim. Love (or lack thereof) was present during and after these events and I am not here to say who is right and who is wrong, I am here to state what’s so, at least in my opinion which is all I can offer. The police officers and the sniper who did the shooting were operating from a place of lack, a lack of love for their fellow human being that is. In the aftermath however, an outpouring of love was displayed by our collective communities for the people who lost their lives, both civilians and police officers. It didn’t matter what the color of the skin was, or the uniform for that matter, we as a community understood that love was required to start the process of healing.

I looked within myself and asked the question “in what ways do I operate from a place of lack of love?” I found that for me, judgement is considered lack of love. Judging other people without knowing their circumstances but making an assumption about them because of their appearance is an example of lack of love. I know I would’t want people to judge and assume things about me just by looking at me, I would want them to get to know me first and then form their own opinion, whether it’s positive or negative is out of my control but I expect them to at least be open. I know I haven’t been giving people that luxury but I am making a commitment to come from a place of love from now on.

Comparison is another example of lack of love. Comparing my circumstances to other peoples’ and looking at what they have that I don’t is counterproductive and a complete waste of time. I can only focus on myself and how I can operate from a place of love and acceptance.

I invite you to take a look at how the presence of love or lack thereof occurs in your life. Once you become aware of it, send loving energy to it and transform it. If we start with ourselves, that energy will them transfer to the people around you because it is undeniable and unshakable. Too often in our lives we search for lack and not abundance and that does not serve us. If we are to change the way we interact with each other we have to start with love. It starts with me and you and once we make a choice to love, the rest will follow.

Week 3 Results:


Weight: 154.2(-0.4 since last week, -2.5 since start)

Workouts: 3( 2 Jiu Jitsu and 1 at home)

Cleanse days completed:0

Book I am reading: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:

Letting go of guilt and deserve issues. 

I can see them!

July 7, 2016

I used to have a lot of energy as a kid. I was pretty much bouncing off the walls always looking to do something. I tried Tennis, I tried Karate but nothing really caught my attention. One day, my parents found an ad in the appear for gymnastics tryouts and they thought that it would be a good idea for me to give it a shot. When we got there, the coach had me to different things like stretching and jumping to see if I have any aptitude for gymnastics. He said I am not very flexible but he’ll give me a shot. I was a gymnast for 9 years and my team was always one of the top 3( mostly #1 lol) and I was a national champion on two events, the floor and the vault.

I was always fit during that time but I never had the full gymnast’s body, i.e. six pack and bulging muscles. I was’t really watching what I eat but since I was always active and let’s face it I was a kid so my fast metabolism helped me stay thin and fit. Even after I wasn’t doing gymnastics any more I was able to keep my weight down and stay pretty fit and it pretty much stayed that way throughout high school.

I started seeing my weight go up during my military service at the IDF. All of a sudden I had a belly and whatever fit body I used to have was no more. I yo-yo’d all throughout my twenties and thirties. I look at photos of when my son Dylan was born and I can’t believe how heavy I got, even my driver license photo make me cringe. In 2013 My wife enrolled me in a 30 day nutritional cleansing program. I lost 15 lbs after those 30 days and I really liked the way I looked. In full disclosure, I had also lost a tremendous amount of weight because of my Ulcerative Colitis. I went from 185 lbs to 157 lbs in a very short amount of time. However once my symptoms subsided, I gained some of that weight back. It wasn’t until I embraced the nutritional cleansing lifestyle that I was able to lose weight and keep it off.

So I had lost all this weight and I felt great about it but I wanted to finally see some abdominal muscles poking out. The only problem is I was;t willing to do the work. I would start going to the gym and stop after a week. I started going to Bikram yoga but couldn’t keep it up. You get the point, I didn’t have the discipline to really go after it. It seemed like work to me and me and as I mentioned in a previous post, I never equated work with fun.

Now that I am on this 16 week journey and I am opening myself up to the notion that work can be fun and I could really benefit from it, I have decided that one of my goals in this challenge is to get a six pack and I am proud to say that they are finally visible to the naked eye! and the craziest thing is I am actually enjoying the process!!! How cool is that???

This

 

 

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Week 5, Gym Selfie

“You look so slim!”

“You look great, Marie, keep it up.”

“I have been reading your posts every week and it keeps me motivated!”

“You should write for a magazine!”

These are just some of the compliments I received this weekend – okay ALL of them came from family members, but whatever!  I was so pleased people are starting to notice my hard work and the Light Yourself on Fire challenge.

And then, I got on the scale.  Whomp, whomp. 189.8.  It was such a downer.  ALL THAT HARD WORK FOR 1/2 a pound.  I think I actually said out loud to my scale “F you”.  I tried to shake it off, but man was I disappointed.  I felt like a failure about my own challenge.  And then, I went through all 5 stages of grief.

Denial – this scale can’t be right.

Anger – I hate this stupid scale and this stupid bathroom and this stupid body I have to live in.

Bargaining – If I could please just get down to 185 I would never lose my temper again with my children and never punish my body with junk food.

Depression – I am never going to lose this weight.

and Acceptance…I think I might still be working on that one.

So here’s the deal.  I remember 2008, the year I lost 23lbs on weight watchers and it was a painstaking journey of losing .2, .4, maybe 1 pound when you were lucky and then sometimes you’d gain and really want to throw in the towel.  But back then I was counting my points but I wasn’t armed with the knowledge I have now about cleansing and net carbs etc.  I thought now it would be easier, not harder.  Yes I realize I am 8 years older (is that math right? geez). But even still, why is it not happening faster????

I’ve tried in the past week 2 different cleanse days and both were failures.  That’s not common for me but it does happen from time to time. At this point, I’ve made a decision that I’m pretty much done with cleanse days for now.  I committed to 16 during this challenge and as of right now I’ve done 5.  I don’t know if I’ll change my mind from now till September, but that’s where I’m at.  I’m committed right now to healing my gut and maybe the best thing is to focus on that and not the weight loss.  It will come, I keep telling myself, if I build it, it will come.

Week 5 Results

Weight: 189.8 (-7.4 since start, -.4 change since last week)

Workouts: 4 (12 total since start)

Cleanse days completed this week: 0 (5 total for the challenge)

Non-Scale Victory: Wearing a bathing suit in front of my whole family and feeling good about it!

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:  I went to 3 parties/bbqs and managed to make it out alive! No dairy and no gluten!

Book I completed this week: Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight the creator of Nike

This week’s title inspired by: It Don’t Come Easy, by Ringo Starr

Week 4: Ups and Downs

July 5, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner

I require restoring my integrity. My weekly results posts usually go out on Sundays and this week it didn’t. It didn’t because I didn’t do very well this week and I was trying to avoid telling you all about it.I didn’t eat very well this week and that’s not including this past weekend. I am having a hard time looking past the instant gratification I have from eating my favorite foods and if I am tempted, I will not hesitate to break my promise to myself and indulge. My results oriented mind wants me to do better every week and when I don’t measure up to my own expectations, I drown myself in guilt. Although it’s admirable to want to do better each week, it’s not always very realistic and being critical of myself is not conducive to growth.

However, this week wasn’t all bad. This week I went to my first Jiu Jitsu class at Brooklyn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after I have been telling Marie for months if not a couple of years, that I was interested in trying it. As we all know from “Gone With The Wind” “wishin’ ain’t gettin'”. Me wanting to try something new doesn’t mean that it will magically appear before my eyes and fall on my lap. I had an interaction class with one of the teachers last Wednesday and then a full on class on Friday and I loved it! First of all it was fun just being around other adults and having that time to myself and secondly I finally got in a proper workout after two weeks of not doing nothing because of a groin injury. Since my goal is to finally discover those elusive six pack muscles I have heard so much about, I have been working out at home on my upper body and doing some strength training using my own body weight.

Now that I am going to be working out consistently, I require to step up my diet game and pay attention to what I am eating. If I am committed to  transformation then I require to transform my mindset around the food I consume.

There will be ups and downs but what I require to remind myself is that this is a process and there will be progress but also setbacks.

Posting two days late created a loss of integrity on my part and the way it affects you is that I promised to deliver my results On sundays no matter what. I made it about me and I have done a disservice to you, my audience. So from now on I will post my results on Sundays without fail and that is my promise to you.

 

Week 4 Results:

Weight- 154.6(+0.2 since last week, -2.1 since start)

Workouts-5( 2 home workouts, 2 Jiu Jitsu classes and a bike ride)

Cleanse days completed-1(today)

Book I am reading- The big Leap by Gay Hendricks

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:

I want to be acknowledged for taking the plunge and joining a Jiu Jitsu class!

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