Week 2:Why Am I Doing This?

June 19, 2016

Posted by Ran Isner 

With my second week of the “Light Yourself On Fire” challenge coming to a close, I understand how much consistency is a crucial part of this.  I promised that I would talk about my ulcerative colitis condition but, I felt that my soul wanted me to address this issue first.  

I know where I am concerned, I tend to think short term instead of long term. If I start something and I don’t see results right away I get discouraged and I go into negative self talk. It’s as if I know I’m going to fail anyway so I try to give myself an out. I’ve encountered that in a couple of instances, one of them is the writing of this blog. Even though I  have been consistently writing it, and it’s received some traction, meaning that some people have been reading it but not as much as I would have liked. Basically, I set up an expectation in my head and when I didn’t meet it, the negative self talk came creeping in. This really aggravates me! Why am I doing this? so people could pat me on the back and say how amazing I am basically making it all about me? Or am I doing this to inspire others to live a life they love? 

Then there is the issue of gaining weight back. I went up 5 lbs since last week and I feel shitty about it. Again, this is going back to consistency. I had great results and then I let myself off the hook. The reward for the great results are the results themselves! You don’t quit! You keep going because this is not a short term thing, it’s a long term thing and that requires consistency!

I said that this is about responsibility and accountability and the one thing I require to focus on is consistency. Writing this blog is practice for me as I am honing new skills and also teaching myself not to be attached to a result. If I want to be an advocate of self love and letting one’s self be truly expressed I require to be consistent because there is not quick fix for this, there is no instant gratification, there’s just consistency and work.

As you’ve probably gathered by now, consistency is my white whale but I am determined to land myself that elusive creature.
  Here are this week’s results:

Weight: 155.2( +5.0 since last week, -1.5 since start)

Workouts: 1 (I pulled a groin muscle and I feel like an old man).

Cleanse days completed: 0 ( I am cleansing biweekly).

Book I am Reading: Love Louder by Preston Smiles.

What I want to be acknowledged for this week:

I did my first Facebook Live all by myself and I wasn’t worried about how it looked. I am all about being on the court and in action and it doesn’t matter how I look.

 

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