I’m up this week at weight watchers.  I know why.  And it’s totally okay.  But, it’s also time for some acknowledgment of the small victories from this week, even if they didn’t lead to weight loss (yet).

1.Ttracked my meal out at my favorite restaurant Bar Stuzzichini – it was brutal, but I did it, and I’m glad I tracked becuase now I know if I want to go there again, I know what to expect.

2. Ate loads of salads this week.  Loving arugala with a teaspoon of parmesan cheese and olive oil.

3. Planned ahead.  I knew I was going to be eating more than usual at a family party on Saturday night, so I brought a yogurt for the long ride there (over an hour!) so I wouldn’t arrive starving and looking to eat whatever nibbles were available.  I had a few olives from the nibble table and that was it!  No pita chips, no hummus, no whatever else they had – because honestly, I didn’t even take a look.  I wasn’t hungry!  Yay for 100 calorie yogurts.  And yay for me for not succumbing to the pressure to eat at family parties where my grandmother is notorious for being a classic “food pusher.”

4. Avoiding Chinese food, sorta.  Ran and I have a standing appointment every Saturday to spend the afternoon with Ran’s aunt Sophy.  She is 99!  and loves her Chinese spare ribs every Saturday when we visit.  I’ve been sucked into ordering myself a serving of ribs plus a side of fried rice.  No good.  So this week, in anticipation of the Chinese food., I made myself an arugala salad to bring along.  I ordered steamed lemon chicken and ate that with the salad.  I still had my egg drop soup and 1 rib (rather than 3).  I was satisfied and happy that I consumed far fewer calories!  Also, I got in my veggies!

5. Hmmmmm, I really want to come up with 5 small victories since 5 is a good round number.  What to write?  Okay, got one.  This is a big victory though.  As soon as I realized this past week that I had totally derailed from program, my first thought was “I won’t go to weight watchers this week”  or  “I’ll skip Monday and go on Thursday instead, so I have a few extra days to over correct my bad behavior.”  This shit never works, if I don’t go to weigh-in I will lose another week to derailment.  The only way to lose, is to attend meetings and do the program.  So I went to the meeting tonight and I even got a “bravo” sticker for showing up.  Bravo Marie, for taking care of yourself and knowing that getting to a meeting is part of the big picture to lose weight.

Up .8 and I feel great

January 18, 2010

What if everytime you were up .8 oz, you were actually down 4.2?  Well that would be delightful!  After being on vacation for 16 days, my WW leader Ellen says that you’re allowed a 5lb gain.  And you know I was concerned about gaining that infamous 5lbs (see earlier post Happy 2010), so when I went to WW last Monday I was preparing for the worst.  After returning from vacation the Friday prior, I should have gone into “fasting mode”, but I didn’t.  I topped off the weekend with brunch at Clover Club, Amanda’s and dinner at Prime Meats.  Seriously, what was I thinking?

So I went to the scale Monday night and was greeting back to WW with a lovely .8oz gain.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw the .8oz instead of the dreaded 5lbs!  Okay, I’m not into celebrating weight gain at WW meetings (seems a little self indulgent), but, the small gain put me in such a good mood, that I had to share it!  I felt like I had a renewed energy coursing through me.  Now, today, I am going kick this thing in the pants and lose some weight!  Yeah! 

Now it’s way into Sunday evening and the end of my WW week- and for the first time, in a long time – I’ve actually counted all my points all week.  And, AND, I didn’t go over my points!  In fact, I have 10 left over!  I don’t know if I’ve ever had 10 points left over in my entire 23 months in this program.  Wow.  I always ate all the points – because unlike AT&T – these calories don’t rollover, so eat ’em or lose ’em. 

Hey, maybe I’ve turned over a new leaf.  Or maybe I’m just scared to death to gain AGAIN.  Which, I am.  Hell, I gotta turn this trend around in 2010. 

The real success this week, isn’t what I lose tomorrow at my WW meeting.  It’s the discovery of what I love about being in control of my food and life.  I was so happy this week, so happy to go to work every morning, so happy to be with my husband just hanging on the couch.  Every crappy thing that happened just went by me like smooth sailing – I could take everything in stride.  I was IN CONTROL.  It was a great feeling.  Shit, there’s tons of things I can’t control in day to day life so being able to say, “I ate well today” was really meaningful to me and my happiness. 

I’m making 2010 the year I bring back control and everyday happiness to my life.  Oh yeah, and that weight loss thing too.

Because Dr Oz Says So

January 13, 2010

I’m not really sure what Dr. Oz’s credentials are or anything, but he’s a doctor so I decided to listen to him.  Dr. Oz was on the Joy Behar Show recently talking about, what else! – how to lose weight!  It’s January and all the commercials on TV are about dieting and losing weight and joining the gym.  Ugh, so repulsive.  Especially the nutri-sytem and Jenny Craig commercials with all that nasty prepared food! No thank you!  But Valerie Bertinelli does look good.

Anyway, Dr Oz said that before dinner you should eat a piece of toast with olive oil on it.  This way you’re not starving when dinner is served and you’ll actually end up eating less calories in the long run.  So, I decided to give it a shot.  Today makes 3 days in a row of my toast and EVOO and I have to say, I’m definitely eating less for dinner and feeling satisfied.  I’m having 2 slices of toasted Weight Watchers multi-grain bread (which you can buy at the grocery store) and 1 teaspoon of EVOO when I get home from work.  It’s great, because they I don’t feel like I have to start making dinner immediately because I’m not starving.  Tonight for dinner I had some pasta with ground beef and vegetables and a serving of a green bean casserole we made last night.  The total was 9 points and I am surprisingly satisfied.  I’m going to keep this up all week and see if it makes a difference at the scale on Monday.

My goal for the week is to journal everyday. “Only journal on the days of the week you want to lose weight.”  So true.

Second goal, save some of my weekly points allowance for the weekend instead of just giving up on the weekend.

Third, lose some friggin’ weight!

Wish me luck! 🙂

Studies say…

January 11, 2010

I just heard on TV that studies say that couples who have sex 2 or more times a week have increased their life spans by 3 years.  It’s also been known to decrease your risk for heart disease.  I heard somewhere else that having sex burns 60 calories each time you do it!  Who knows if any of this is true?  Regardless, here’s a funny thought for the day.

mind if I journal

Lowest Place on Earth

January 10, 2010

I’m afraid of losing my hair, drowning, being seen in public without foundation on and bathing suits.  It’s a shame really, because I happen to love the beach and taking the sun but the bathing suit always gets in the way!  Today Ran and I took a ride to the Dead Sea where there is a spa where I was told you don’t need an appointment to get a massage.  Well today must have been the busiest day at En Gedi spa because there were no massage appointments to be had!  We were a bit disappointed but then the girl at reception said that we could have access to the mud and sulfur baths if we wanted.  I didn’t even pack a bathing suit and now we’re talking about jumping in a sulfur bath!  Oy vei.

Last June when I was preparing to go on my honeymoon in Aruba I set out to buy a couple of bathing suits that were a) flattering, b) not too expensive and c) didn’t make me look “matronly” (Ran’s favorite word for the clothes I pick out).  I searched high and low and tried on dozens of suits in order to find 2 that I could live with.  One was from Kohl’s, $50 and labeled a “miracle suit” or something like that, that is supposed to make you look less fat.  It seemed like a good one so I bought it.  The second one I found was Ralph Lauren from Lord and Taylor and I don’t remember how much it was, but I think it was less than $100.  This one was (thankfully) not black and had blue and white polka dots on it.  Cute, check.  Plus I had one suit from the summer previous that cost me $150 at Macy’s but was super cute and reminded me of the red suit Miranda wears in Mexico in the Sex and the City Movie.  In the end, I had 3 suits to choose from and I was able to get ready for beach every morning without wanting to kill myself.  I spent weeks finding those bathing suits and it took hours of mental preparation.

Today, I had to buy a bathing suit of the rack in the spa gift shop with no time for all the conversations I need to have with myself in order to even PUT ON a bathing suit.  “Everyone is self conscious about themselves in a bathing suit.”  “Only models and people on TV look perfect in bathing suits.”  “You are not as fat as you think” “You have to walk tall and confident in order to pull this suit off.”

I went to the rack and it was a scary mish mosh of “mom suits”, bikinis (no way in hell) and your basic little black bathing suit.  I found one in aqua blue that was kinda cute and sexy for a one piece and tried it on.  There was no time to mess around, no time to obsess over it, no time to cry in the fitting room.  There was just time to find a suit that suited me and get on with it.  This was possibly the easiest trial I have ever endured with bathing suits in my adult life.  I tried on the blue one and 1 other in less than 5 minutes.  The blue was better but had a little hole in it.  I could live with the hole if they would discount the price more – hell it’s basically a disposable bathing suit to begin with – why not milk a discount??  It was labelled 600 shekels with 35% off (gee, thanks) which would make it about $100 – still too much for a disposable bathing suit, right?  They gave me 40% off at the register and I decided to go for it.  I could have bought the same bathing suit in black, but I just couldn’t bear to buy ANOTHER black bathing suit.  I wanted to be exotic for once and buy something fun and youthful and not so damn practical.  I was at the lowest place on earth but I didn’t want to feel like to the lowest person on earth.

I bought it, I wore it, and now it stinks of sulfur.  I just had to suck it up.  This might possibly be the only way to buy/wear bathing suits.  In the end, I think that most of the scariness around buying/wearing a bathing suit is something in my head.  Of course everyone is self-conscious, of course I can’t compare myself to Jennifer Aniston, of course I have to walk tall and be confident in the weight I’ve already lost.

Maybe this summer, if I have to buy new bathing suits I won’t need a week of mental preparation.  Maybe this time I can just dive in and not be so damn hard on myself.

We had a great day at the dead sea, and I wasn’t going to let any stupid (disposable) bathing suit get in my way.

Happy 2010

January 1, 2010

It’s a new year. Finally. 2009 sucked for a lot of people. I had a pretty great year except for the 10lbs I put on over the course of it. I’m on vacation now in a far far away land where I can’t read the calories on a package or figure out points. I told you it was far far away! Anyway, I’m eating as sensibly as I can stomach on a vacation and trying not to over due it just to prove that I can. Most people gain 5lbs on vacation, and I just can’t do it! What a set back that would be!

So, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to make some resolutions, tackle some projects and slow down a little in order to get ahead.

More to come. Hope your new year is filled with hopes, dreams, goals, and lots of fun!

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