The Death of Facebook.

October 22, 2009

Yes, I did it. I deactivated my facebook account. I’m not the first, certainly not the last to do it. I’ve freed myself from the social networking chains that I’ve held onto for almost 2 years.

I owe facebook a debt of gratitude because it was some poorly placed photos of me on f’book that actually led me to begin my weight loss journey back in February of 2008. I saw my huge belly hanging over a pair of already size 14 jeans, my full face, and decided, I could no longer live this way. I signed up for Weight Watchers immediately.

But since then, facebook has become this albatross hanging around my neck. I don’t want to be friends with everyone I went to high school with, or elementary school with, or work with, or people I barely even know. I realize that this might sound terrible of me, because, I admit, there is a part of me that wants to know what happened to so-and-so and reconnect with my long lost buddies from Carey High. I got to do that with a few people, but there were also plenty of people who’s names I didn’t recall and some who I wondered, “how do THEY remember ME?” Geez. My friend list grew to over 400 people including my parents, my 16 year old sister (I never could understand any of her posts) and countless former classmates who now regaled me with their stories of hating work, having babies, and getting married. Snore.

I think my favorite thing about no longer being on f’book is that I don’t have to report on my life anymore. I don’t have to post “sitting on the couch with my baby watching the Yankee game”, which, let’s admit, sounds pretty lame. If I read a post like that I’d dream up an entire story of that person’s life (because remember, I don’t really “know” the person anymore) and how totally gay it is that she’s sitting at home watching a game with her “baby” (again, lame) and has totally lost her sense of self in a relationship with some Yankee fan. Meanwhile, I am actually sitting on my couch with my husband watching the Yankees game. Judge away.

I’ve been thinking a lot about deactivating f’book because I had a few shitty experiences on there that I figured I didn’t need in my life. Being “defriended”, finding out intimate details about an ex-boyfriend and just the general complaining that was going on there, was just too much negativity for me to sign up for.

The one good thing about f’book is that it helped me launch this blog and get plenty of readers for it. For that and the fat pictures of me, I’m grateful.

But I can’t read another post about how much “you fucking hate law school” or how much “you miss your husband when he’s away on business trips” or how “your fantasy football team RULZ”.

I don’t want to report on my life, I want to go out and live it. I don’t want to have 400 “friends” peering into my wedding pictures and monitoring how fat/skinny I am. I want to have good friends who I actually see and speak to. Is this too much to ask in our cyber saturated age?

I guess the bottom line/truth is, it was too painful to look at f’book some times. I’ll admit, there was something in my life that I wanted really bad and I didn’t get it. There are always these kinds of things we want and feel we deserve but for some reason the universe doesn’t allow us to have. This was one of them. I was devastated, hurt and confused. But in that haze of pain the one thing that was clear to me was that I don’t need to read about other people’s dissatisfaction with their lives as part of my daily news anymore. I especially don’t want to read about the thing that I wanted but didn’t get. So perhaps, I’m selfish and not really “taking a stand” here, but this is my life and I have to take it seriously and do some self-preservation here. I’m strong, I’m resilient and I’ll bounce back, of course. But in those moments of fragility when I’m holding a brick of cheese and a brownie and deciding which to eat first, I really have to think to myself, “am I surrounding myself with the things that are going to make me successful?” The answer was, no.

So goodbye f’book. I’ve enjoyed stalking people and looking at some hideous wedding pictures on you, but I’d decided to move on and fill my life with more positive status updates.

Now I’m going to ask my hubby to post this on his facebook profile so someone will actually read it. Call me what you will.

3 Responses to “The Death of Facebook.”

  1. Abby said

    Congrats on taking a healthy step in creating your own peace and well-being!

    Guess this means I’ll need to pull out my cellphone and call you now, rather than stalk your FB page. 🙂

    Seriously though, I’m proud of you.

    (Will you still be on Twitter?)

  2. emily fasano said

    I just love you.

  3. Robin Neary Gemignani said

    Hi Marie! I’m loving this blog!!! If it makes any difference, I didn’t realize you had a blog through FB. I got a notice today in hotmail and had to read it!!! So well-written! I will continue to check it out and we really MUST make a plan to get together with our husbands.

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