I need to eat cheese

September 7, 2009

This may sound shocking, especially since my blog is called “My Love Affair With Cheese”, but I haven’t been eating cheese for quite some time. Well, not “eating” cheese means not buying it from the grocery store. Of course I eat cheese, but only when I’m out. Then it seems like an indulgence, and maybe like something I can control.

I went to Fairway recently and decided it was time for my once annual purchase of Cambozola cheese. I picked up a wedge and gladly dropped it in my cart. I proceeded to enjoy it over the next several days and remembered why I love it so damn much. It’s smooth and tangy. The bite of the gorgonzola excites my tastebuds in amazing ways. After the cheese was devoured and gone, I got to thinking… (how very Carrie Bradshaw of me!).

I don’t buy cheese (or Oreos for that matter) because I truly don’t think I can control myself around it. I know if I buy it, I will eat it. Probably with lots of bread. And not in portions that are human. So normally, I buy my once annual wedge of cheese, devoure it, and then move on. This time, I decided that giving up one of my favortie foods is not only foolish, it’s not in the spirit of Weight Watchers!

The whole idea behind WW is that you still eat what you want (in moderation) and you DON’T ELIMINATE FOODS FROM YOUR DIET. So basically, I’m “allowed” to eat cheese. So, I’m going to!

I bought another chunk of Cambozola and this time, I cut a chunk off and slapped it on my trusty WW food scale. I weighed it, 1 ounce equals 3 points. I toasted one 3 point pita. And I went to town! I enjoyed that ounce of cheese and pita and really felt in control of my cheese addiction.

I realize this sounds a bit simple. Like, “duh, Marie, just friggin buy the cheese, count the points and eat it.” Seemingly, this is not a hard concept. But in reality, it is. I had developed a habit way back in 2001 for eating cheese by the brick. To let go of that behavior, to give up the supreme indulgence of eating cheese this way, was to admit that I had a problem to begin with. To admit the problem, is to admit that I am not the type of person who can eat cheese by the brick, who can eat without worrying about it, who can eat it PERIOD. That’s why I bought it so infrequently. I didn’t think I deserved it.

Maybe I could have been enjoying many chunks of cheese since I started my journey in February 2008 if I had figured this out earlier. Perhaps, I wasn’t ready to admit that I CAN eat cheese — in 1 ounce portions.

I do love cheese, and I intend to continue eating it. Because my weight loss journey isn’t about being on a diet. It’s about uncovering the person inside of me who is longing to get out. It’s about letting go of the previous bad behavior that made me so unhappy (but was so comfortable). It’s about changing what I am, so I can become who I am. It’s about eating cheese, in sensible portions, and enjoying every minute of it.

One Response to “I need to eat cheese”

  1. Cara said

    With cheese, I find no sense – what I mean is that cheese is better than drugs, chocolate, potato chips, whatever your vice. I’m happier with cheese than I am with any other food – and with most people, I might add. Moderation, maybe, in varieties that is! I don’t want any variety to feel left out or neglected…so I spread my cheese around…pun intended.

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