Break-ups and long lost loves…

August 13, 2009

Like the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.”

I’ve been through some rough break-ups (are there any that aren’t rough?). Usually there are tears, loads of time on the phone with girlfriends trying to make sense of it all, and of course, revenge fantasies!

I’ll admit, I’ve been rather tragic during some of my break-ups.
-Crying for six months (over a guy is just never warranted)

-Driving past his house

-Calling and hanging up (pre-caller id, Duh)

-Going out with someone else just to make him jealous

-Enlisting your friends to “keep an eye on him”

-Starving yourself before you know you’re going to see him so you look “super skinny and hot”

The list goes on and on.

I’ve thought a lot about break-ups lately, which is really weird, since I just got married (not breaking up!) and am in a very happy, healthy, stable relationship with my husband. But I’m not always in a happy, healthy, stable relationship with food. I’m finally breaking-up with myself in a way. I’m saying goodbye to the old Marie. The old Marie who would eat a sleeve of Oreos for fun. The old Marie who ate chicken parm for lunch…every day. The old Marie who believed food could cure a broken heart.

A couple of break-ups I went through, actually made me sick to my stomach that I couldn’t eat – but that hasn’t quite happened yet in my break-up with food. And by food, I mean, Oreos, chicken parm and Pringles.

Maybe food is the hardest break-up because you can’t really ever “stop seeing each other for good”. With a guy, you just break-up and then never talk again. Occasionally, you might stalk him out on facebook, but that’s the extent of it. Now with food, you can try and break-up cold turkey, but man, it’s hard. It’s so hard to put down that cookie dough at 2am when you can’t sleep.

I’ll admit, I have a few “long lost loves” I still think about. A few of, “the ones that got away” to still ponder. I’m married…not dead. There was the “first love” who I cheated on (high school style!), the second “first love” who I shared food with, “the player” who broke my heart so swiftly my head spun and the “bad guy” who was, a bad guy.

Sometimes when I’m travelling for work and walking thru an airport (looking like crap), I panic!  and think, “what if today is the day I’m going to bump into “the player”?  I don’t know why I think I’ll only bump into people at JFK, but I always think that.  And then there’s a row of really scary chain restaurants to cure my fears.  For a reformed overeater, going to the airport is like a drunk going to the bar.  There’s SO much temptation and you’re stuck there!  So, I usually slap on some make-up (just in case) and indulge in some airport food to calm my nerves.  I don’t need to tell you what a bad idea this is…

My food “long lost loves” include, Cambozola (spelling?) cheese on pita bread, meatballs, and Phish Food.  Sigh.

Someone posted a recent picture of me on facebook this week.  I looked at it with my usual critical eye and I thought, “hey, I look slim!”  I was thrilled.  That feeling is better than any food could ever taste.

Bye bye, meatballs!

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One Response to “Break-ups and long lost loves…”

  1. TJ said

    I try to break up with food all the time, but just like one of those exes you still have sex with for old times sake when you see them, I’m sometimes curled up in front of the TV with a block of smoke gouda or scarfing french fries before I remember it’s a bad idea. 😦 I wish I could quit food.

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