Like Quicksand

July 24, 2009

I’ve been married for 11 days.  Been with my husband for 4 years and 11 days.  We’ve always been on opposite schedules so I’m used to being alone at night often.  But tonight, I’m dying because,  there’s NOTHING on tv.  I mean, let’s face it, sitting in front of the tv makes everyone feel less alone when home by themselves.  I’m watching “Royal Pains” which is quite possibly the most far-fetched nonsense to come out of New York since CSI:NY.  Sorry Gary Sinise.

If I wasn’t completely stuffed from eating out at my favorite restaurant Bar Stuzzichini tonight, I’d probably be feeding my boredom with some snacks.  Why do we eat when bored?  What about raising our hand to our mouth makes us feel occupied?  Or complete? Or not alone?

Before my most recent Weight Watchers stint (there have been 3, more on that later), my preferred boredom snack was cheese and crackers.  I’d hunker down on my couch with a chunk of Cracker Barrel Vermont White Cheddar and go to town.  My Cracker Barrel addiction was so well known, that my Secret Santa in college gave me Cracker Barrel in place of candy!  Certainly, my love affair with cheese started in the womb – I’m Italian! and genetically predisposed for a love of cheese!  

The real cheese abuse started in 2001 when I lived in London.  The supermarket Sainsbury’s was so scary there (I couldn’t identify one familiar brand) that I started living on a diet of Red Leicester and Wasa crisps.  Oh, and grapes.  Grapes are healthy.  It was a different world in 2001.  I was out of the country for the first time without the safety net of college cafeterias and pre-paid meals. Not to mention the life changing events on September 11, 2001 that occurred while I was in Italy en route to London for the next 5 months.  I was also really young and in a relationship with a guy who was a fellow food abuser.  We were seperated by the Atlantic Ocean, so for sure, there were many nights in London where I felt bored and alone.  Also, don’t forget, this was before Facebook and You Tube.  Plus, I didn’t even have a computer!  Wasting time online reading status updates of someone who went to your high school (that you don’t actually remember), was not an option.  

To pass the time, my flat mates and I spent alot of time sitting around our kitchen table.  I don’t remember alot of food being involved, it was mostly talk and playing Celebrity.  We passed alot of hours that way.  I think my cheese abuse was still somewhat secret at that point, meaning, I was eating large amounts of cheese when no one was around.  Not like, on purpose or anything. But come on, I’m not gonna eat like a pig IN FRONT of people!  Secret eating is the quicksand that leads to you being bet into your pants.

Eventually, I ended my Red Leicester addiction when the only pants that fit me were my sweatpants.  I got on a computer in the library and joined Weight Watchers’ online program (stint #1).  I started tracking points and reading labels.  I lost weight, felt better, and got back into my jeans!  

I still ate out of boredom, but I tried to make wiser choices – this time I had JUST the grapes.

2 Responses to “Like Quicksand”

  1. robin neary gemignani said

    I’m home alone all the time too! And guess what? CHEESE & CRACKERS and fruit for dinner!

  2. Great article. Waiting for more.

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