Happy 2010

It’s a new year. Finally. 2009 sucked for a lot of people. I had a pretty great year except for the 10lbs I put on over the course of it. I’m on vacation now in a far far away land where I can’t read the calories on a package or figure out points. I told you it was far far away! Anyway, I’m eating as sensibly as I can stomach on a vacation and trying not to over due it just to prove that I can. Most people gain 5lbs on vacation, and I just can’t do it! What a set back that would be!

So, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to make some resolutions, tackle some projects and slow down a little in order to get ahead.

More to come. Hope your new year is filled with hopes, dreams, goals, and lots of fun!

Everything went to pot…

I’m not even sure what that saying means, but in this case, it means, the Yankees won the World Series and my life became totally disorganized and “went to pot.”

My sincerest apologies for neglecting you, Cheese!

I promise to get back on the band wagon of writing this week.  Having Thursday-Sunday off should be a big help in re-charging my writing batteries.

I will briefly report to you that I’ve been sick with Flu like symptoms and strep throat, so I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time on my couch eating Ramen noodles and the like.  So not healthy.  I haven’t counted a WW point in weeks, sad. And I had my annual Thanksigiving party last Saturday where I was introduced to Chocolate Eclair cake, which was heavenly.

I have my 10 year High School reunion to look forward to on Wednsday, so I’ll be eating lite in anticipation of it.  So far today, I’ve only had tea.  Tried to buy a banana from the fruit lady, but her stand was unattended!  So I’ll have to try and get some fruit later in the day so I’m not tempted to eat the 100 calorie packs in my desk!

More to come when I can write with a clear mind.  Now I’m at work trying to dig out after being sick for 2 days last week.

Thanks for reading and being here!

 

 

 

 

Food Hangover…Ugh

We had a great halloween party last night!  I made some treats including a buffalo chicken dip, a macaroni and cheese caserole and penne ala vodka.  The party was full of nibbles: Yasmin’s special Spinach Dip (she still won’t give me the recipe!), Shireen’s Oreo truffles (heavenly), a cheese platter, guacomole, margaritas, and cupcakes from the Cake Boss guy in Hoboken.

I tried everything except the cupcakes (had no room left!) but they looked so adorable and delicious.  I did the most damage on the buffalo chicken dip and mac and cheese.  I even had a margarita! 

I didn’t count any points, but I did eat light all day so I could indulge a bit at the party.  I didn’t dive into any Halloween candy so I consider that a triumph.  Last year, I finally realized that Halloween candy and I had a love/hate relationship.  Every year I buy a bunch of candy, fill my special halloween themed bowl and wait for Trick or Treaters.  The T or T’ers never show, and I end up eating all the candy!  You know how it goes, a Snickers here a Kit Kat there and before you know it, the bowl is empty.  So last Halloween I resisted and didn’t buy any candy.  Still no T or T’ers came, so no one missed the candy.  This year, I tried to find my Halloween themed bowl (for the party! not for candy, I swear) and I couldn’t locate it.  Ran thinks he remembers me throwing it out so I would never fill it again with dangerous goodies.  Maybe I did.  Or maybe I’ll find it when I unpack the Christmas decorations, who knows.

I woke up really early this morning with a bilious attack.  A sign of a little too much indulgence the night before.  I’m not much of a drinker, so maybe it was the margarita mixed with the food and fatigue.  Perhaps mac and cheese leftovers for breakfast isn’t the best idea!  I’m gonna go try to fall asleep a little while longer. 

I don’t get weighed-in till Monday, but I’m happy with this week so far.  Been good, didn’t go crazy at the party and getting back on the wagon right now.

At the party last night, someone asked me “Shouldn’t it be getting easier to lose weight, not harder?” 

Food for thought, indeed.

 

I waited all year for a Fried Oreo.

I am originally from Long Island, but spent a lot of my childhood in Brooklyn where my father has always lived. The best thing about Brooklyn in the summer is the street fairs. There’s always one on my birthday in August and I remember spending birthdays there eating sausage and pepper heros and zeppoles. A zeppole is a piece of fried dough that is covered in confectioners sugar. It’s delightful. The only thing I could think of that is better than a zeppole, is taking an Oreo (which you all know is my favorite cookie) dunking it in zeppole batter, frying it and covering it with confectioners sugar. And then selling it at the Atlantic Antic which is only 3 blocks from my house.

Atlantic Antic, as I remember it, is always on a Sunday at the very beginning of October. I remember last year coming home from a day of shopping in the city to the Antic happening right under my nose. I saw a stand for the infamous Fried Oreos and decided I would splurge and have my first ever fried Oreo. I went to the stand and was devastated to hear that they were out of Fried Oreos! How could this be? I was robbed of my once annual chance to try this decadent delight. I remembered thinking “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you that you don’t need to eat Fried Oreos, Marie. Do you really need to eat something so over-the-top?” So, I never had my Fried Oreo. But THIS YEAR, I figured I’d waited long enough. It’s the first Sunday of October and I woke up this morning with no other motive then to get a Fried Oreo, or five.

Ran and I walked thru the Antic on our way to rehearsal at the Heights Players today and saw many booths for jewelry and free pedometers. I was praying and searching that there would be a Fried Oreo stand in between Clinton and Hicks Streets, so I would have time to indulge while walking to rehearsal. We got lucky and found a stand that sold not only Fried Oreos, but foot long hot dogs! Breakfast of champions! Ran ordered a foot long, I ordered a regular hot dog only to be told that they don’t have regular hot dogs, just foot longs. Okay, fine, I’ll have a foot long hot dog (oy vei!). Then the Fried Oreos, “How do they come?”, I asked. Zeppoles usually come by the dozen. “Five for three dollars.!” A bargain indeed. “We’ll take five!”

The foot longs were a bit well done in my opinion and I ended up only eating half (I only wanted a regular hot dog to begin with) and when I realized that I was eating it and not enjoying it, I threw it out. Then we moved onto the Oreos. They were smaller than I thought they would be, but covered with enough confectioner’s sugar to kill a person. I took a bite and was pleasantly surprised to find the Oreo both soft and warm. Yum. I noticed at the stand that they were frying up the Oreos fresh for us! What a treat! The Fried Oreo was deliciously covered in zeppole batter as I mentioned, and it was more scrumptious than I ever could have imagined. The mixture of the sweet batter, the sugar, the chocolatey Oreo and the cream filling was very interesting. The only thing I thought was missing was a bit of salt. Perhaps it needs to be added to the zeppole batter? Overall, I was pretty pleased with it.

The general consensus seems to be that Fried Oreos are a waste of calories and time. I thought it was worth a once a year indulgence. Ran said he’d just as easily eat a zeppole plain than a Fried Oreo.

I waited all year to try the Fried Oreo, and I’m glad I did. If I’ve learned anything over the course of my tenure in Weight Watchers it’s that you don’t need to eat food just because you can get it. Like the foot long hot dog. I didn’t need to finish eating it just because I had already paid $3 for it. I can get Fried Oreos at the Atlantic Antic, but that doesn’t mean I have too. It doesn’t mean that I must buy 5 and eat them all by myself. It also doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try a Fried Oreo. You must have indulgences in life, food or otherwise, or else life would just be too damn boring. So I say, “Try a Fried Oreo. Enjoy it. Move on.”

Breaking the Fast

I’ve never successfully fasted for a day. I tried once in high school and made it til 3pm when I arrived home to brownies on the kitchen table ( a very rare occurrence) and gave in to choclatey chewey goodness.  I don’t really understand the idea of a “fast”, why do we even call it “fast” ??  I’m Catholic, and pretty much our fasting rules have completely disappeared ( to my knowledge) since Vatican 2.  This past Monday was Yom Kippur – which since meeting my husband, I’ve learned it’s not just an excuse to not follow alternative side of the street parking, but an actual holiday: a day of atonement.  The way I understand it, you’re supposed to atone for all your sins for the past year so you can start anew.  Kinda of the Jewish version of confession.  Someone please correct me if I’m wrong.  But for our purposes I think my layman’s understanding of it will suffice.

Last year was the first time I was invited, along with my husband, to “break the fast” on Yom Kippur.  Since my husband is kind of a “non-practicing” Jew, he’s never fasted on Yom Kippur since I know him, so I didn’t really know what to expect.  When I heard the words “break the fast” I had visions of long buffet t tables laden with food.  I dreamed up something out of Dickens, complete with a Christmas turkey.  Of course, in my dream there was also a huge platter of lasagna and a tray of antipasto.  When we arrived, there was a lovely spread.  But it was lacking in the opulence and rich food that I thought anyone who’d not eaten all day would want to have! There was tuna and chicken salad, bagels, cream cheese, lox, and matzoh ball soup.  It was a decent spread for a brunch after a long night of drinking, but for dinner?  For dinner after a day of starvation?  I must’ve had a sad look on my face, because the hostess of the evening saw me and said, “Sorry Marie, it’s all Jew –food” to which I responded, “Where’s the baked ziti?”  Alas, no pasta. 

I remember complaining aftewards that we needed to order a pizza because there was no way I’d be full after a half a tuna fish sandwich.  This year, we were invited again.  I was better prepared  now, l I knew what to expect.  I figured I’d have a large lunch to compensate.  But when I got to work that morning, I had a bit of a knot in my stomach, so I skipped breakfast and then skipped lunch a few hours later.  Skipping meals is not something I do often.  In fact, I never do it.  I hate that people who say, “Oh I was so busy today I forgot to eat.”  Um, no.  I never forget to eat.  And I wasn’t forgetting that day either, I really had an upset stomach and just didn’t feel like eating.  Around 3pm I ended up having some crunch dried fruit (don’t laugh, I ordered it from QVC) as a snack.  When we arrived at the “breaking of the fast” I was starved!  I was ready to break my self-imposed semi-fast.  This year it was more of the same “Jew-food” plus a pot filled with meatball. No pasta, but at least there was some tomato sauce.  I ended up making a mock meatball parmigiana hero with some fixins from the deli platter.  It was good, and I was satisfied.  I guess this year, I acted less like a fat person.  I paced myself, only ate enough to be satisfied and found a way to be happy without the pasta.  Both of the Yom Kippur’s were family parties of my husband’s and I realized something very important.  In my family, a holiday isn’t complete until you are stuffed to the gills with meat, pasta and cheese.  There’s always a run-in with mhy grandmother where she says, “Did you eat enough? Finish this!  Let me make you a plate.”  Plus, there’s ALWAYS food around!  It’s so tempting to just keep eating.  Granted I think some of this is a cultural difference.  But I think more than that this a a skinny/fat divide.  Skinny families are skinny because they eat alike.  They don’t over eat, they don’t serve way too much food, they don’t eat as a means of entertainment, simply put, they eat to live, not live to eat!

Overweright families carry on all the bad habits that make us fat. Now, I don’t attempt to blame my big fat Italian family for making me fat, but let’s be honest, it doesn’t help! And really no one in my family is “the biggest loser” type of overweight. But most of us are, shall we say, “trying to lose 20 lbs” at all times. I’m going to shift the paradigm within my family. I’m going to stop eating when I’m full and not when my plate is empty. I’m not going to eat just because everyone else is. I’m going to bring more healthy foods than unhealthy ones to family parties. I’m going to spread the word that Weight Watchers, or any weight loss program, isn’t torture after all.

It’s going to be a tough job, but hey, someone has to do it.

Container Eating or How I Finished the Whole Thing

Have you ever finished an entire container of Haagen Daaz?  Or potato chips?  Or cookies?  Or broccoli?  (ok, let’s face it, no one eats broccoli like that)

I have been victim to “container eating”.  Many times.  I’ve already regaled you with stories of me finishing entire sleeves of Oreos without even thinking.  I also used to eat Stella D’Oro cookies like that.  That damn Margherite Combination was always eaten in 1 or 2 sittings – no more.  I remember dipping the cookies into ice cold (whole!) milk as a child and swallowing the cookies practically whole.  I bought a package like 2 weeks ago at Fairway as a treat.  I calculated the points, and decided that 2 cookies for 3 points was acceptable and bought it.  It sat on the counter un-opened for a few days.  Then a friend came over and opened it and had one.  More time elapsed.  Then, finally, the craving I was waiting for reared its ugly head.  I said to my husband, “I know what I want, the Stella D’Oro cookies!  Bring me a glass of milk.”

I hunkered down on the couch for a satisfying stay with the cookies, milk and my memories of childhood.  I took a chocolate cookie first, dunked it into my vanilla flavored soy milk and then attempt to swallow it whole.  Hmm.  Something was missing.  It wasn’t that good.  It was kinda bland, lifeless.  I stopped.  I figured if the chocolate was tasteless, the vanilla was going to be worse!  I don’t need this.  If’ it’s not going to bring me back to the days of old, why bother?  I assumed the usage of vanilla soy milk is what ruined it, but who knows?

There’s a couple of things at play here:

1. Why is container eating so satisfying?

Container eating is satisfying because we like a sense of completion.  I can check that block of cheese off my list!  Also, we have no sense of knowing when to stop.  The lines of full/not full are so blurred at this point, the only way we know to stop is when the container (or plate) is empty.

2. Why am I seeking out food to bring me back to memories of my childhood?

I had an alright childhood, but nothing worth putting on the pounds for!  Something about the familiarity is seductive.  I’ve always eaten these cookies and they’ve always tasted the same.  What about…  “I can eat like a 12 year old and not gain weight” – we know it’s not true but we always want to try and prove it.  Childhood is comforting, its a time when life was simpler, you didn’t need to count points or worry about what size your pants were.  It was just easier!

3. What was my initial craving about that I desired an entire box of cookies?

Hmm, the hardest one to answer.  I think I was sad.  I was upset, I wanted to be comforted.  I wanted to feel special.  I wanted to indulge.   I was happy too, content.  All of the emotions can make you want to eat – happy, sad, bored…

The bottom line is – I didn’t really need a “treat” as I called the cookies in paragraph two of this entry.  When I worked at a cosmetics counter we used to say, “A free sample is not a reward for a purchase.”  Well, “An unhealthy snack isn’t a reward for making it through the day, it’s the opposite of a reward, whatever that is!

Ok, deep breath: today I’m going to eat to live, not live to eat.

AND, I’m gonna throw out those boring cookies…I swear.

To fit or not to fit, that is the question?

I need to do laundry.  I have 1 pair of pants that are clean (and work appropriate) and I’ve already worn them twice this week.

After my pig out last night (which ended with an Israeli pudding and a tiny piece of ice cream cake), I was not optimistic about my wardrobe this morning.  I dug into my closet and tried on a pair of size 10 Michael Kors pants that I have worn before but are admittedly, a little snug.

My friend Deirdre calls “a little snug”  being “bet into your clothes”.  “Bet” is the incorrect past tense of “beaten”.  She’s Irish and claims this is a common expression across the pond.  So, I looked in the mirror at my butt in the MK pants and decided I was a little too “bet” to wear them today without the appropriate blouse to cover the “bet-edness”.  The ladies all know what I’m talking about, the muffin top!

Charging into another one of my closets (there are 4 in my apartment!), I found an OLD pair of Gap khakis that I haven’t worn since Bush’s first administration.  I thought to myself, “there’s no way these are going to fit, but try ‘em on to see how close you are.”  I put them on.  I got them on without zipping or closing them.  I thought, “well, there you have it, gotta loose another 10 lbs.”  But for some reason, I forged ahead and zipped those suckers.  They closed, the buttons fastened and I was in these size 10 khakis I bought in 2004.  Wow, what a feeling!  That feeling is better than any pudding or chunk of blue cheese I could eat.

I vividly remember buying these Gap pants in 2004 because, at the time, they were my fat pants.  I had recently started a new job with Lord & Taylor in NYC and needed “nice clothes”.  I was basically broke and not looking to spend more money on clothes, but nothing I had fit.  I went to Gap one day before work and bought two new pairs of pants, the aforementioned khakis and a pair of black pants.  I don’t remember what became of the black pants, except to say, that eventually I “grew out” of them (nice way to say they became too small to wear).  They were tossed.  Probably, when I did my “I’m too fat to wear these clothes and I’m never gonna fit into them again spring cleaning of 2007″.

Somehow, the khakis survived.  I think they did only because I had hardly worn them (when they did fit) and throwing out hardly-worn-perfectly-good pants is just SILLY!

Boy I am glad they survived, because I feel amazing today wearing them.  I even woke up my husband this morning for him to check and make sure they were not “inappropriate for work”.  He deemed them “perfectly fine”.

The funny thing is, moments like this actually motivate me to continue my weight loss journey that started back in February 2008.  Today I’m going to be super diligent! I’m going to track every morsel I eat, because I recognize that food does NOT have power over me.  I have power over me.

And let’s face it, that pig out last night was totally PMS induced and you just can’t fight hormones sometimes.  But, you can pick yourself up, dust off the crumbs and get back on track.  That’s what I plan to do.